Dating and intimate relationships.

[Lemonjuice]

Hi, I am wondering how single people here are coping with having psych issues and dating, socializing and sexual/intimate relationships. I'll give mine as an example.

I'm 54, never married, had a few short term relationships in my 20s but two things happened and all my social relationships died till to this day. First I suffered constant panic attacks, lost my job and then just as I was getting back to some level of coping my dad suffered his first stroke and I stopped to take care of him for the next 20 years. I also raised my sister's two kids...long story. Anyway, I'm hetero, female but men scare me, relationships scare me cause let's face it, I have a habit of being a rescuer, so it's best to stay away from relationships and also was sexually abused as a child. Still, all the same desires that other women have are there, need for love, caring, intimacy, sex, fun, friendship, etc. It becomes one huge mess when I try to step out of this cage I'm in. An ad came on my facebook link for a dating site, so I thought why not. A guy responded. I freaked and cancelled my account. Yeah, I'm a whimp. I had a panic attack. I am fine with guys, I don't even mind flirting but if they show interest, I literally freeze...ptsd type of freeze. So yeah, I read a lot...lol...lot's of science books...really good scores, lol. Not sure how I am going to get around my fears and I expect to be alone and lonely for the rest of my life.

If you have a story of your own problems in this or ways you coped or changed, that would be good to share.

[utopia]

@Lemonjuice. I too would love to be in a caring relationship. I get so lonely at times. But I think I'm too sick to be in a relationship at the moment. Who would want someone like me. And I wouldn't know where to start in finding a single healthy man.
This might be a good topic to raise with your psychologist. He can give you tools so that you don't pick a man who needs rescuing, who is healthy. And he can help you build up your confidence to reduce your chances of panicking.

[Lemonjuice]

@utopia Thanks. It's a good plan.😊

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lemonjuice I was just moving through and I noticed your post. It's really scary to dive into the world of dating and relationships again. How's it all going? Did you manage to chat with psychologist about it?

[Lemonjuice]

What and destroy my claim to sainthood. Lol.  No, not dating.  Yeah, talked to the counsellor about it several times over but really, what can he do.  It's up to me to try and I feel too blah and freaked out to try.