The Butterfly Room- ED support

[Bow]

Thanks @Paperdaisy  I've tried really hard today and have done better, but am still under my meal plan. 

yeah maybe I will connect with the butterfly foundation 

[Bow]

I have decided to go to my appointment tomorrow and am trying really hard to put more effort into sticking to my meal plan today. Hoping that if she see that from today that she won't see how badly I have gone the rest of the fortnight. 

[Bow]

The last few days have been such a struggle. The ED monster inside my head has been so loud. I hate that so much of the Christmas festivities are based around food. I hate that I've been gifted so much chocolate. I've eaten but I feel so dang disgusting. I want so desperately to restrict. I've not given myself a day off exercise at all. Find myself thinking about how I will get there, the plans I make in my head. 

[Eve7]

Here with you @Bow 

It is a really hard time of year with so much food on offer.

I am sending some loving hugs 🤗 💖

[Former-Member]

Lately I've just been wanting to eat sandwiches. Now I just want sandwiches or toast with golden syrup on them.
I usually love my food. But when I'm stressed my appetite bottoms out. I will eventually need an appetite stimulant. I hope my new psych med will help with that. I'm getting somebody to give me moral support tomorrow, I'm scared. My eating problems come in bouts every several months, and I recover after a few months. It's cyclical rather than a constant, daily thing.
In the past when I've had psychological treatment for my eating problems, I'd eventually recover and I'd no long need such psych services as I would eat properly. So I need eating problems counselling on an on-off basis too. Tonight I'm just asking for moral support. Could you please bear with me as I make adjustments to my mental health treatments? Thanks so much lovely peeps! I will be in and out of this thread sporadically, if that's all right. I'm at a bad phase where I need to keep coming here until I recover again, with some peace for several months between bad eating phases. Thanks again XXOOO!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bow, I'd like to offer you a handshake and a hug! I am thinking of you! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time coping. You're doing the best you know how with your circumstances.

[Bow]

Hey @Former-Member here to offer as much support as I can. I’m not in a great place myself. My ED is very loud and relentless and I’m not in a good place medically. 

glad that you seem to know when you need the extra support around your eating? That’s an important step to know. 

[Bow]

I really wish there was more of an online community for ED recovery. It’s so helpful being able to talk with other that actually understand. 

I went and did the groceries this morning. It has become a task that I greatly dislike. My ED tends to be very loud and I buy minimal things, mostly things for my daughter. Occasionally I will pass something that my healthy self would like but my ED says no. But do I need to buy some things just in case I do want to eat? But then I don’t want to waste food either if I don’t eat. 

My case manager came around this morning also. She asked the usual questions, when did I last eat and what was it, have I had any water today, what physical symptoms am I currently feeling. I had nothing positive to report back to her unfortunately. But I did tell her that I will go get my bloods done…. This has been something that I have been fighting against recently, My gp will request them anyways. 

anyways, just rambling. It’s a lonely journey. 

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Bow Have you heard of the butterfly collective? Might be something to look into. Your stories are so insightful and I'm sure you touch more people than you realise. I hope you continue sharing your recovery journey. Baby steps 🙌💝

[Bow]

I have heard of the butterfly collective @Paperdaisy and signed up for it ages ago. Maybe I’ll share a bit of my journey there…