She’s already rebounding

[Kares102]

Saw her posts in a group server on discord I forgot we were both in.

Shes already messing around with people. I know it’s a rebound and it’ll just hurt her, but how can she possibly even think of someone else like that so soon.

I do and I panic, and I probably won’t be able to for a ridiculously long time. It’s not fair.

[MJG017]

I'm sorry @Kares102, that is tough to take.  Everyone copes in different ways and the choices she made may seem confusing and unfair to you, but it doesn't take away from what you shared or how much it meant to you and how difficult you are finding it now.

Focusing on how she is coping now, honestly, is probably the least helpful thing you can do at the moment.  I know it wasn't intentional, but try to keep your focus on yourself and your own needs.  Her way of moving on is clearly very different from yours, but take your time and do what you feel is right for you.  Keep looking forward, backward is only pain and hurt.  Again, i'm sorry you are in so much pain right now.  We're always here to listen and do what we can to help you through this.

[Glisten]

@Kares102 life is not fair. As my friend @Meowmy says life is hard.

An ex is an ex for a reason.
People who don’t take the time to self reflect and evolve from the previous relationship, are doomed to repeat it.

A psychologist asked me “What did that person bring to the relationship?”

Don’t settle. Evaluate. In every relationship, friendship, ask yourself What does this person bring to the table? If they don’t inspire or encourage you. Then reassess.

You also need to be able to bring something to the table. It’s up to you, what that will be.

[Kares102]

In hindsight, complaining about fairness definitely felt a lot more childish than I thought at the time.

Honestly I don’t begrudge her, it just did a number on my confidence at the time, but I know nothing we had was fake so I guess, why should I dwell on what happens now when I’m not in control?

[Kares102]

It’s also nice to have the forum to talk in, just as a place where I know it’s not unwanted or out of place or “too much”, and I appreciate everyone who’s been responding to my posts.

[Glisten]

@Kares102 the only thing that you can control, is what you do.

[Glisten]

@Kares102 you have every right to complain about fairness. It’s not childish. A shock perhaps? That your ex is looking outward to fill the space?

[Shaz51]

Hello @Kares102 

How are you going today my friend 🧡 

@Glisten , @MJG017 

[Kares102]

@Shaz51 I’m doing pretty well at the moment, I’m spending the time in between breakdowns actually doing things, whether it’s just watching movies or hanging out with friends.

Trying to build my interest in film back up, it kinda shot out the window with the shock, but I really do think it’s worth keeping as something of me.

[hotmess]

I hear you after breaking up a very long term relationship my ex is not only rebounding - she’s organising overnights with folks (‘polyamory minis the ethical part) ‘and expecting me to mind her pets without asking, saying please or aknolaging my time and effort.. 

(still living  together it’s only been a few months) 

‘it’s on the nose .. 👃