Loneliness

[Becjax]

I feel so alone in my recovery. I feel like no one understands and I’m screaming in a room full of people and no one even looks up. I know I have pushed a lot of people away because I don’t want to be a burden and think I can do this on my own but I can’t and I don’t know how to ask for help

[Ziezie]

Im sorry you're feeling this way, I feel the exact same way as well 😞

[MJG017]

Hi @Becjax, welcome to the group.  I spent most of my life feeling invisible.  I probably pushed a lot of people away as well... but probably more because I think on some level I just wanted to reject them before they rejected me.  It took me so long to stop doing it.  I mean I still do it, but I'm better but I have finally learned that I do have a few people I can ask for help if I need it.  I think we all do at times, and trying to cope with everything on our own just doesn't seem to work in the long term. 

As @Ziezie showed, a lot of us here understand how you feel and experience the same thing.  You said you dont know how to ask for help, but you just have made a great start.  The first time I did was on an online forum just like this.  I hope you feel a little less alone here.

[Jaila]

You are not alone, @Becjax.  Many of us here have experienced the same thing.  Personally speaking, I feel invisible when I am at home and sometimes even when I am at work or around the few friends I have these days.

My life has been so internalised that I often feel as though no one can really relate to my experiences, so I stop sharing, I stop seeking help, and I just kinda fade into the background.

I think this is probably part of the reason why I suffer so badly from depression.

I am still very new here myself.  Please don’t think you are alone.  Just chatting with others will help and if what I’ve seen here in the few days is any indication, you will find many people open to discussing their situations and offer their own insights.  Hang in there.  You are on the right path now.

[rav3n]

Hey @Becjax and welcome to the forums @Ziezie!

If you've read the above responses, I hope you know that you both are definitely NOT alone in those feelings. The recovery journey can feel so isolating when you have no one to share and talk to. I can definitely relate to feeling like I'm burdening my loved ones by opening up, but the truth is, you both deserve to be supported. You deserve to be seen and heard. It might be hard at the start to open up, it might feel uncomfortable and scary - but letting them know what's going on for you, and how they can support you - can also help you both connect and build a stronger relationship. I personally found that reaching out to a professional helped me be more honest about my feelings and also it gave me the tools to ask & accept support from others.
and to answer your question @Becjax the way I ask for help is by booking a session with my psych or texting my friend 'hey i'm having a really shitty time right now, i need to rant/ need advice, can you call/text me when you're free (or can we meet up for a chat)' or some sort of variation of that. if it's someone you've pushed away that you want to reach out to, maybe letting them know what you've told us could help them understand why they were distanced. it's never too late to be honest and recover those friendships.
Also, I hope you know that the forum community is always here for you both @Becjax @Ziezie. We understand and we're sitting beside you on your recovery journeys so you're never alone here.