Desperate

[Bettyboop2]

Really struggling at the moment I had started a new medication and had been feeling better. I actually felt normal instead of depressed.

I’m in such a depression hole with anxiety as well. I just don’t know when this will end. I had to call lifeline yesterday because I was suicidal. These feelings keep creeping in.

[edited by moderator]

[tyme]

Hi there @Bettyboop2 ,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out and share how you have been going.

Unfortunately, because this is a peer-to-peer service, we ask that you chat to your own treating team about specific medication. This is because each person has different needs, so it's best to chat to your doctor. This is part of our Community Guidelines.

However, the community can certainly chat about how you are feeling right now. I hear how hard it is to find yourself in this dark hole. 

Can you think of things you enjoy doing?

You are not alone in feeling this way.

[MJG017]

Hi @Bettyboop2.  It must be so frustrating to have a medication appear to be working and making your feel better only to go down again!  I'm glad you made that call to lifeline yesterday, that was the best thing you could have done.  I think it shows you're far from giving up and are showing such an incredible strength by calling them and continuing to reach out here. 

I've been hanging around here for about 6 months now I guess, and I've talked to a lot of people trying to get themselves out of very deep holes.... myself included.  It's so difficult sometimes and sometimes just a friendly ear can make a lot of difference.  I really hope you're feeling better soon.  Either way we're her for you.  Take good care of yourself and most importantly, be kind to yourself and continue to let us know how you're getting on. 

[Bettyboop2]

Thank you for answering. I attended the hope zoom meeting today which has just reminded me to have hope that this will end.

I enjoy knitting and riding my horse. 

[Cleo2]

Hi @Bettyboop2. In my experience, my meds just don't cut it. I'm not saying don't take them, but you may need to make changes to your self-care routine as well to improve your mood. If you're too depressed to make changes, then talking to someone, giving it time and rest will do. Take care.

[Angel-Friend]

Hi @Bettyboop2 I have found it disheartening when a new medication starts to work, it gives me hope, and then all of a sudden I feel unwell again. I've had this pattern a fair amount of times. I realised I had high expectations for the new medications and assumed it would fix me forever. I've come to realise even with medication, I am still going to have really difficult times with changes in circumstances, moods, old memories etc. So when I'm having the difficult moments I remind myself "this is temporary" and try to do extra self-care and pleasant activities to get me through. 

Well done for being mindful of what you needed by calling lifeline! Reaching out isn't easy, and you have done it twice with ringing lifeline and reaching out here.

Please consider speaking to your doctor about what you are experiencing. 

[Terri1]

Keep reaching out and using the help available to you well done! Do you have a follow up appointment booked with your doctor to discuss the medication? Make sure you let them know how low you felt. 

[Bettyboop2]

Unfortunately my Dr is away for a month. I rang his rooms to speak to another psychiatrist but they didn’t get back to me . I will try again Monday I really need some advice or maybe hospitalisation. I am such a mess.

@Terri1 

[tyme]

Good on you for reaching out. I hope they can give you some answers tomorrow. @Bettyboop2 

I hear how hard it is right now.

When things are well, what do you enjoy doing? I'm glad you can ride a horse! Do you find that therapeutic? Also, what do you knit? I can only knit the very basic lol.

Hi there @Terri1 @Angel-Friend @Cleo2 @MJG017 

[Bettyboop2]

I’m having a really bad day. I can’t stop crying and my anxiety is really bad. I will try and contact a psychiatrist tomorrow and make an appointment to see my go. I think I need some time off work until I am a bit calmer. When I’m well I like to ride my horse and take my dogs for walks.

@tyme