Coping with grief

[The-red-centaur]

This morning one of the people where I live died. It was a bit of a shock to all of us. There's going to be a hole at home for a bit. 

I'm just wondering how to cope with the grief and how to support others while looking out for myself. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @The-red-centaur 

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss - that kind of shock and grief can be painful to deal with. It's really wonderful that you have reached out here and started this thread - it will be great to get others thoughts and strategies around coping with grief and supporting yourself and others. 

While we have the conversation here and share tips, I thought I'd also highlight a really great service called GriefLine - they have a counselling phone line, an online counselling option and also some really useful resources with information about grief. 

🧡

[BryanaCamp]

hi @The-red-centaur 

Sorry for your loss.

What is the living situation you're in, is it a share-house or supported accommodation?

I attended a mental health support group for a time. One day I turned up to group and the one & only person I had really liked and felt a strong connection to had committed suicide. The group then preceded to bad mouth her at length and I leapt to her defense as I thought is was against the group guidelines they'd just articulated and I thought it was just generally in poor taste and inappropriate.

So I would say that it's appropriate to say "sorry for your loss" to those who are feeling it and if anyone tried to bad-mouth the deceased I would encourage you to defend their honour as it is not appropriate behaviour to do so (no matter how bereaved the bereaved are, anger towards the deceased is not ok). 

[Owlunar]

Hi @The-red-centaur 

I am sorry this has happened - it is always a hard time to get through

I understand you want to care for other people right now but imo it's realy important to care for yourself first - if the whole household can get together and be supportive that's really good but you need to focus on yourself 

Grief has a lot of stages to go through - right now - even if the death was expected then there is shock first and then all must sort out their feelings and this can take time

In the meantime you can try ringing Griefline which is a telephone support line and they have a website also - if you type Grief Line into your browser you will be able to access the information

Their help line number is 1300 845 745

I wish you all the best and please keep in touch

Dec

[The-red-centaur]

@BryanaCamp I live in a semi-suppored boarding house.

@Owlunar bryanacamp thanks

[The-red-centaur]

It's starting to hit me I'll never see him again 😭

[BryanaCamp]

oh I'm sorry to hear that @The-red-centaur it sounds like this person you lived with is someone you would have known quite well and seen each day and been friends with. We get attached to the people we live with. That is a big loss for you and is very sad. As Dec said grief is complex with lots of different feelings and stages, I hope you won't be feeling lonely at the moment and can share in your loss with the other people who will be missing your neighbour too. Please keep posting if it helpful for you, we're here to listen.

[The-red-centaur]

I miss him. It's been a quiet and awkward morning. Usually he sits and reads the paper every morning but he wasn't there today 😞

[Former-Member]

FYI: Right Now, 1:10pm The DrPhil show are having a REALLY good discussion on Coping with Grief