Being real

[kristin]

Dear Anne ( @PeppiPatty )

Thanks so much for your beautiful message.  It is such a kind, caring and considerate thought. I really appreciate it. If only we were all literally just up the road! At least we can connect here. TG4F! (Thanks God for Forums!)

Kind regards, 

Kristin

[Alessandra1992]

I will bring scones and jam and cream to have on your bedside table with the pot of tea...
Knowing your ex is being a nuisance, I hope that your ex gets help with his control issues.. Bitter people do make life difficult for everyone else..
Hugs for you and your girls...

[PeppiPatty]

@Alessandra1992 : Yummy. Scones. Can I come ?

[Alessandra1992]

We can bake them together! Then drop them off to @kristin, piping hot out of the oven...

[kristin]

That sounds lovely @Alessandra1992 & @PeppiPatty !

You can't just leave me to eat them alone, not much fun in that! I'll put the kettle on and we'll all have tea - hopefully Polly won't object LOL 

I'm very tired tonight. Quite broken sleep last night due to no power from 3pm - midnight (so early to bed), my 6yo waking mutliple times, the wombat deciding it would try to get under the house again, the power finally coming back on at 4minutes to midnight which made the VOIP phones go "bing!". So pretty stuffed.

Tonight my 6yo has a cold, so I rang & asked my son if we could postpone his birthday lunch by a day so she has some recovery time. He turns 18 tomorrow. He is completely unfussed about birthdays and siad "yeah sure". Thankfully he's very easygoing about some things.

Kind regards, 

Kristin

[PeppiPatty]

Oh my and
This brings back memories of my times with my sons re Birthdays and Christmases. Still are.
I always mess up when sending my oldest son a birthday card and present on time....now my youngest as well....
When they were very young....well, ......too many mistakes happened........I should be hanging my head with shame for at least one hour per day and if I wrote what happened you both will be sending me in the corner for 5 minutes.....no talking allowed Every Day.

Thankfully.......they both say that they understand and I try and make it up.

[kristin]

Anne if they say they understand, and you have tried to make it up, maybe you can begin to give your self permission for self-forgivenness? (Please?) No purgatory here. Beating yourself up will not undo those mistakes, and we all make some. Take care.

Kind regards

Kristin

[PeppiPatty]

Yes.

[PeppiPatty]

@kristin, was it you that wrote thank god for forums.?? Or was it @sara?

Yeah, hope all is well. :0)

I've been knocked for a 6 in last 24 to 48 hours......, about 4 years ago, my Psychotherist said that all women in my life were taking all their ' stuff,' out on me ..I chose to ignore it and just think that my mum, mother in law and others were all tough. But since my Mum has addressed her anger with me, it's like this veil has been lifted from my eyes......

My ex husband, the one with chronic schizophrenia has been calling, texting a lot. I wrote to him yesterday and wrote again that I'm not Ready to speak to him because it's too emotional and I dealt with marriage separation with writing to his Mum (who as threatening legal action) and if he could only write me letters if he wanted contact with me.

I didn't write that his Mum was threatening legal action on me.

He accidently sent me a text to his Mum and it was like a knowledge went into me which was..........for the first time in my life am sure in what I'm doing. I don't want this crazy mother in my life ( all compassion to the Mum though).

I feel terrible writing this but as soon as we married, that what it was like for me. Her continued interference and the mixed messages she told me compared to all the people around me and my ex husband was bad.

I then rang mum Mum and had a nice chat to her.

[Alessandra1992]

Ditto @PeppiPatty
What @kritin said.
If you want to put yourself in the naughty corner every day, that is one way to punish yourself.
Me, I think 5-10 mins of quiet reflection on just today, each day, is a good ordinary habit..to cultivate mindfulness that we are acting according to our values..
Your boys are forgiving..your turn to now..we have all done things we are not proud of, and many of us feel shame but we are trying to not repeat crap behaviours, beliefs or attitudes ...
Give yourself a break..you have been building bridges with your mum, respecting your sons' diverse journeys and looking after your daughter...
You, dear Anne, so totally rock!!

And maybe you wouldn't be the person you are now, without the experiences you've been through..