@mh70 For the sake of brevity I reduced my story. My son has not been at uni and lost his place, since the Covid lockdowns and worse happened. We are still struggling with a lot, and some of his vulnerability and need for friends lead to him making some compromises in friendship with disastrous consequences. No need to feel jealous. Mine is 30, so I do know what it is like wanting them to live a full life. He has left home twice (for 6 months and later for a year), but returned. Maybe we will be third time lucky.
I am supporting your motherly instinct, that your son does need the support of home atm and if he is leaving the house twice per day that is probably enough, and you never know he might make friends at any point during his time out, just a chance smile or a moment standing in a line. Maybe talk about body language a bit to give him clues about it ... whether male or female ...idk?? Encourage him to have the space to make good sound decisions ... about people in general and their motivations.
I am guessing your husband is a step father, that you needed to petition him to help with lawn. Its great your son has developed an interest in healthier food, and I hope that continues and develops. Can be a life saver and it is a big field so can occupy him a lot.
You said:
perhaps its just getting the tension right
That is a huge art, and I guess it probably will never be simple or "stable" but ebb and flow, as life circumstances evolve. Dont be too hard on yourself. If you are feeling frustrated try taking time out for you.
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