Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[tulip]

thank you for your reply to my post. my plan is 1. get dislocated knee better 2. while recovering check housing options online. 3. keep my own savings secret from hubby 4. find a good place in a safe neighbouhood with nice people 5. move there. 6. leave old life behind and start new. 7. be happy

this plan has been on my mind since i retired from work last year. it may be moving very slowly but i want to get it right this time, especially given my age, my own physical health and limitations.

hard to do when i'm totally alone, but not impossible. i intend to keep working towards this escape slowly but surely. i'm thinking of a small place that is easy to clean and manage etc. near facilities like hospitals etc.

whilst typing this hubby has just phoned and left a message on our machine saying he is being released from hospital now and will be coming home tonight.

here we go again..... and all on the day that americans call groundhog day where everything happens over and over again........not this time !!! i'm going to help myself to get a better life. thanks all for your help.

[Baboo]

best thing for us to read- is a good plan.

It shows me you know exactally what you want to do 🙂

[Kiera80]

@tulip  I am so happy to hear that you have this plan in place and it sounds like a very good one.  You have thought this out really well.  Have you also looked into a respite centre in case things get really out of hand at home?  Sometimes getting yourself away, even for just a few days, can help.  Your husband can then rant and rave away to himself instead of always to you.  That could also be part of looking after yourself a bit more.

I really hope your knee gets better soon too.

I love your analogy of ground hog day.  Haven't we all had too many of those.

Am thinking of you.

[maddison]

hi @tulip ,

I love so much what you have written! Of course, I feel sad that you have had to endure this emotionally exhausting life with your ex, but I am happy also, that you chose to express what you have been through, with strength and compassion.

My life has "somewhat" been calmer since I last wrote on here. I think, the initial 'shock/withdrawal' my housemate was experiencing from suddenly coming off meds after so many years has plateued it self, and the rants are becoming less frequent. There have still been times, when he has been innappropriate (yelling, or getting aggravated for no reason), and this affects me - making me feel hopeless, and isolated all over again. But, there has been no incidences, that were extreme as the last time I wrote on here.

If he is rude, or aggressive in his behaviour, I leave him be, and go do my own thing ( mostly t.v! or go for a walk or something)

I hope you can find some comfort and peace in your life, it is not easy, especially if you are actually physically impaired at the moment. It is also frustrating, that your ex is trying to admit himself to hospital, and being sent away (it makes me wonder, is he aware that his ilness requires intervention - more than usual at the moment? or is this behaviour of trying to admit himself, part of his disease?) It is sad that there are not more resources for someone with MI, and it is not fair that you have to care for him either. Is that what you meant when you wrote, that the more you give, the more he takes? That is how I feel at times, but, I MUST look out for myself, even if it seems as though I am being mean.

I think the most important thing is that you are safe.

Hope you have a good rest of week:)

[NikNik]

Hi @maddison & @tulip

I was responding to another discussion about the abuse one of our members is recieveing from her brother (read more here) and it reminded me of both of your stories and bravey.

How are things travelling for you both now?

Nik