Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Keep to your courage, and do take care of yourself @Kanny.  

My husband has a hidden, undiagnosed eating disorder, and while he is in denial there is precious little we can do about it .... walking along with him to try to preserve our family unit, ignoring the e.d. as much as possible, and taking the best care I can of myself is the best bandaid solution I have ....

You're not alone, and many here can relate.

🌷💜

F&H

[Former-Member]

hello @Kanny @Faith-and-Hope

I am listening, I am guessing that you are feeling unheard at the moment after such a dreadful ordeal with "the almighty mental health system".

I am also reading how fatigued you are. My goodness you have given so much of yourself for so long.

Ask yourself how much of that time have you given to you. How much during that period were you aware of your own feelings, desperation, worn out, not heard and much much more. Been there.

The carers on this forum have written many wake-up threads for me. Much of it I was aware of rationally, but of course did not apply to myself.

If you havent already please contact Carers Australia they are a great organisation and know only too well "the mental health system". They will be a strong part in helping you improve your physical and mental health.

They will also help you in regards to how you continue to care for your partner whom you are not disrespecting, or forgetting about.

keep writing to us so that we can walk alongside you on your journey if you would like that. xx

[Kanny]

Thank you for your words of support @Former-Member

I have just had a phone call from his GP , as the hospital had not heard from him when they rang. 

The GP gave me the impression that he was to give them a call and book a appointment as a follow up from the hospital. 

I feel this would have been better written in a document that was handed him with this scripts. A policy they would do well in implementing. A simple document with a few dot points on where to next, what is expected and support numbers and web support groups such as this. 

When he and most others im assuming are discharged their head is full of thoughts of freedom and not the next step on the road. 

I will not make the drs appointment for him, as i have previously stated. enough is enough. but I do think I need to make this clearer to him . 

Thanks 

K x

[Kanny]

@Faith-and-Hope thank you for your reply, 

Tell me about your husbands eating disorder. If you do not wish to talk about it , its fine, Im just curious. 

My daughters BF who also lives with us had a ed , I offer support to him but I hold back a little as I have finally realized I am unable to help everybody. 

He is now seeing a phycologist which is a great start.

Most GP's he had seen in the past the only thing he was told was "Just Eat More" being over 6 foot and weighting only 46kilos is not a choice most people would choose. 

I wish you happiness and a smooth road 

K x 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Kanny

I'm travelling today so can only answer here and there .....

My husband has created a cocktail of several e.d.'s which is one reason he is managing to fly under the radar so long .... he is not fitting identifiably with any particular one.

I have posted the elements of his "cocktail" under the discussion topic of What's new: services, research, technologies .... tell me if you can't find it and I will tag you from there ....

Gotta go ....

[Faith-and-Hope]

I see you found one of them @Kanny ....

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Kanny .... you are so right re the bf for a couple of solid reasons .... as a carer you have to recognise your limits .... burnout results in someone also needing to care for you and it's something carer's have to take very seriously in consideration for their own well-being.

Secondly, after trying so hard in our first couple of years to flag down help for my hubby, it became abundantly clear that the law protects him in his illness until such a time as he is really, really sick and loses his power of autonomy, and he needs to want to be well ....

Mine thinks he's very well .... :face_with_rolling_eyes:

You can only do what you can do .... but things don't remain the same .... they change, and we do what we can to try to help them change towards the good ....

🌷💜

[Former-Member]

Hi @Kanny
How are you going?