Triggered and Lost

[Misty92]

Hi, New here and this is my first post.

The last week I've found myself spiralling downhill fast and can't allow my self any self compassion and have been told that I'm devaluing myself and being to critical because of a DV marriage that made me feel worthless. In the last year I've also suffered sexual assault and a traumatic car accident. 

I suffer from BPD, ASD, ADHD, Bipolar, Depression/Anxiety and Complex PTSD.

I'm medicated for the ADHD, BPD and Bipolar but it's not enough. 

I'm struggling to want to live any longer and the thoughts are getting stronger everyday. I'm very triggered by everything and can feel myself falling into a dangerous place.

I'm looking for people who have been through trauma to share with me their recovery journey stories and share their advice on how to feel worthy, be able to allow myself to be kind to myself, become comfortable with myself and ways to find who I am, understand these emotions and best manage them.

Hopefully other members will feel comfortable enough to join this discussion.

[rockypug]

Hi @Misty92 

Welcome to the forums.  

I am sending you a private email. 

[Jupiter]

Hi @Misty92 

Welcome to the forums. We hope you find this a supportive place to be. Thank you for sharing the experiences that have brought you here. We haven't heard back from you yet in response to our email.

I'm sure some fellow forums members will jump in and share their experiences, but in the meantime I wanted to share a resource that might be helpful if you would like 1:1 support around your experience of sexual assault and having been in a DV marriage.

1800RESPECT
1800 737 732 and webchat counselling
Online Service Finder
24 hours, 7 days a week
www.1800respect.org.au 
1800RESPECT is the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service; providing support for people experiencing, or at the risk of experiencing, violence and abuse, their friends and family, and professionals.

[Misty92]

@Jupiter thank you. I've spiralled more and will probably be admitting myself to hospital. I have used them before with positive outcome but need a more hands on approach this time.

[Former-Member]

Hey there @Misty92,

My name is Rhye and I'm one of the peer support workers in the forum. I'm really sorry to hear things have been tough for you. It sounds like you have a good sense of what supports work for you and what you need to get through this period. If you need any extra support as you navigate it all, please don't hesitate to reach out here.

Living with the after effects of trauma can be so difficult, I just want to acknowledge that @Misty92 💜 You are showing great strength and courage to reach out for the help you need. Do you have a treating doctor at the moment who can create a plan and put you in touch with a hospital admission?

Rhye ☘️

[Misty92]

@Former-Member I haven't been to my doctors as there is not much they can do as I have serotonin syndrome and can't be medicated for depression.

I have not been admitted to hospital as my partner took me away for the weekend to see my family as a helpful first option which has helped a little. I am still struggling and will reach out for more professional help If I get worse.

I really appreciate the comments of support, thank you 😊 

[Lilith3]

Hi there I am a young person who have and is currently battling all those issues or at least most of them too. I think I find peace or some solace in knowing that I'm not alone and not going crazy when I see other people like u battling it . Not to say its good but it's comforting to know how there are struggles people can face as well when sometimes it's so focused on ur own internal wounds, conflict or pain. Personally I'm not well myself right now so I'm still trying to heal to get better but I have in the past and know it's possible when u have the stable support network, good physical health or at least substantial physical health ( like not feeling sick 247 but maybe only 2 hours of the day), a safe uplifting supportive environment, friends , family , is attending a enjoyable safe fun and fullfiing work study school or day program, have hobbies u enjoy and that are accessible and energizing, good people around u that energize u not drain u and potentially keep on the consistency routine of taking meds. If u can fulfill all that its beyond possible to get through it if u don't have all that its much much HARDER AND A STRUGLLE MAYBE STILL POSSIBLE but will definitely take longer AND THE TRAIL AND TRIBULATIONS WILL BE MORE GRUELLING . That is to say its all up to the individuals will power and own meaning for suffering . If u believe there's happiness or peace at the end of the tunnel then u will be much more likely to push through if u don't it can definitely consume ruin and devour u alive ! Not to be scary but that's the honest truth from my opinion and lived experience. Btw I'm still not a professional and whilst they are not always good or accurate/ beneficial themselves . Pls do not take everything I say into account as everyone is different and this is just my thoughts and I'm not certified.