Taking the plunge

[Maggie]

@CheerBear  I hope you got some sleep last night. 💤💤

How is your headache today?

Its Friday........ I hope that’s  good news.

Leaving an early coffee. ☕️☕️☕️💕💕💕

[CheerBear]

Morning @Maggie and hi to all. Slept well thank you 🙂 Head is much better this morning also. Friday is good news.

How are you going this morning? Do you have counsellor today?

[Maggie]

A good start @CheerBear 👍👍

Yes counsellor this afternoon. I will have a cave morning.....forever!!!!

[CheerBear]

Is it nice weather for a cave @Maggie? It is here. Not sure what the forecast looks like but it feels icy so far.

Any reason in particular for the cave morning today, if you feel like sharing?

[Maggie]

Chilly here @CheerBear . We haven’t had any frosts yet, but it is cooling down.

The slide down ended in the pit. It’s the tricky shame feeling of being a big part of the current situation. So much pain. So much cover up. It’s so hard trying to get through it.. I don’t know how to navigate it. I now have more questions, no answers. I sometimes wish humans were extinct.

How is your day looking. Walking, skating, biking first up? Love the skating here, there and everywhere. The ones we had were soooo different. You could adjust the size by loosening or tightening a screw, so everyone shared one pair. It didn’t work, but they were fun when you did get a go.

[CheerBear]

I might be reading a bit more between the lines than is there but I think I understand what is driving the slide down for you @Maggie. Shame and pain are very hard to sit with without it turning very dark and twisted. Yesterday or perhaps the day before (what day is it anymore 😖) you mentioned a feeling towards one spreading in to a feeling towards more, and I get how sucky humans can seem in general when that happens 🙁 I'm sorry that it's big and hard. Will you talk it through a bit with counsellor? Either way, cave day sounds needed this morning.

I think we will do our walk/skate/ride again first up. It seems to be a good way to get them in the zone. I should take the chance to do that with them while the weather allows it too.

We have a set of rollerblades that are adjustable like that. I loved rollerblades (not skates - I broke my arm on them) when I was little but on my own kids they seem much scarier haha. Have you seen the shoes with the wheel tucked in to the heel? They weren't around when I was younger but it's what Middle is living in now. They're pretty cool. The kids cruise around the shops with them all the time. We saw one at the broken bone clinic with a plastered arm rolling all around the hospital. I felt for her parents :face_with_rolling_eyes:😆

[Maggie]

I will do a pic hunt of the shoes with wheels tucked in the back @CheerBear . My mind has a weird pic atm. Lol.🤪🤪🤪

Yes, counsellor and I have been trying to find some level ground with this one. He just keeps appearing on tv with no shame whatsoever, while some think he has been set up. I guess we all choose to believe what we do. It’s tricky, as it’s solid rock support to some, and you don’t want to cause distress. Tricky and twisted.

Anyway, some cave writing today.

Thanks for listening to my not easy to unravel posts.

I’m heading into the shower. I’m not looking for humanity in there this morning, just a bit of relief. Water is great for that.

I hope today have good in it. Maybe another delivery from Mr Friend.  💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[CheerBear]

I had a coffee on the phone with Mr Person this morning which was nice @Maggie. This distancing is going to be a test for us (as it os for many). He lives on his own now in an empty and quiet-all-the-time house and has very little else to keep him company or stimulated. I run a chaotic, non-stop circus where space is very limited and quiet is not a thing. Opposite ends of the spectrum for us which is tricky.

That place where you are experiencing pain at something others find comfort in is twisted and hard. It's no wonder a cave is needed. I hope writing and talking with counsellor feels good today and that the shower brought some relief. I should do that at some stage. I've managed to get myself dressed (beyond chucking a top over pj bottoms) three days in a row now. That's a win 😉

Always listening and caring Maggie ❤

[CheerBear]

@Maggie how was your day? I really hope counsellor was helpful as usual and the cave is OK tonight.

We had an adventure this afternoon. We were on a video call with my parents showing them Middle's cool new rollerskating when they tumbled and hit the concrete. Spent a few hours at emergency from there. They have another fracture, another plastered arm (the other arm this time) and an appt with plastics next week. They're feeling sad and worried but are OK enough now the pain is easing. Seriously :pile_of_poo: end to a seriously challenging week :face_with_rolling_eyes:😑

Big ❤

[Maggie]

Oh noooo @CheerBear . You really didn’t need that now, or any other time, but now is so stressful at basic level. Poor Middle, it’s a tough life. :pile_of_poo::pile_of_poo::pile_of_poo:⬅️ Have you ever wondered why :pile_of_poo: looks so happy @CheerBear 🤪🤪 Thats my big though for today.😂😂

The cave was/is hard. I can’t find colour anywhere. Counsellor and I worked through some big stuff, but so many are struggling with this one. I asked how could I deal with it respectfully. Like she helped me with forgiveness, some things are unforgivable, respect is earned not a right. That’s helped with a bit of twisted thinking, but I’m still wading through messy stuff. I was a big part of the organisation, I can’t shake that shame, even though I am not guilty of wrongdoing there. Blame sticks to me, it’s a background attachment that’s hard to let go of.

However @CheerBear  this might give you a giggle. I spent 3 hrs trying to turn the air con on. Yep, you did read that right. And it was unsuccessful. I googled the manual and cussed my way through, like any irrational person might do. Counsellor took 20 mins. End of story. Thank goodness yesterday is done with, for you, Middle and me. I don’t think we are alone there.

I’m leaving a coffee, hoping today has good moments for you all.☕️☕️💕💕