Sick of being a female and fed up with this world

[girl99]

I've been watching the news lately and it has really upset me. I cannot believe the deputy leader of our country has behaved so badly and gets away with it.  I feel women are treated so badly and men just carry on and do whatever they want. If a woman had behaved like this, she would have been fired.

It makes me sick that this so called 'leader' is meant to set a good example and yet he betrayed his wife and family, lies about things and is dishonest and he thinks it's okay.

I don't like being a female because I am fed up with being treated badly by our society.  Women are expected to sit quietly and be slaves for men and to prop up men.

And this is a problem worldwide. Women do most of the unpaid work of the world like childcare, cooking, cleaning, looking after the elderly.  We do not get properly paid. Men have most of the world's weath. We have the worst lives.

It's just so awful and I'm depressed thinking about it.  How do I learn to deal with this? 

[greenpea]

Don't worry secretly I am sure his soon to be 'ex wife' is doing back flips! I would be 😄

[Former-Member]

I hear you @girl99. I often feel something similar to the feelings you've expressed.

Much of the newsy stuff in recent months, perhaps going into a year or two at least, seems to have been horror stories of harm against women and children. The emotions we experience when reading or watching those stories, can add to our own personal levels of distress. There are some stories that just overwhelm me with the capability humans have to be so cruel. 

Our distress gets so compounded by all the bad feelings that it just avalanches over us, taking us with it in that great downward slide. 

In reality, men are not immune to having bad things happen to them too, nor are all men the terrible brutes such news stories would have us believe.

One of the most heartwarming things I have experienced was a young man seeking me out to apologise to me for all of mankind after I disclosed in a uni tutorial argument about sexual assault that I was indeed one of the 1 in 4 the statistics mentioned. The person arguing had said that would mean that there's at least 1 person in this room who has been sexually assaulted and assumed because no one responded in the affirmative, made the statement that those figures were in accurate. I could not let him get away with that. 

It is now years since I watched a news broadcast, or read a newspaper. I read the ABC webnews, and ARSTechnica news a few times a week, and that's pretty much it. Stopping the almost addictive attention to the news has worked for me, I still see some awful stories, but I don't allow myself to be inundated with it anymore. 

Maybe reducing your exposure to negative discussions, like talk back radio and the tv stuff that's nasty behaviour and gossip also continue the negative loop in the mind might be helpful to shift your thoughts. 

@greenpea I think you're right, and soon she'll be able to get on with her own life with quite the smile. If he was Joe next door, no one would have known anything, nor would they have cared. 

I hope you can find a way through the muddle of emotions such knowledge brings you @girl99. Have you tried talking to someone about how you feel? It might help to get it out. 

[Queenie]

I think the 5 o'clock news summed it up very well. The leader of our country is flying out to meet with the self-confessed misogynistic leader of the free world. While Mr Turnbull is gone, our country will be run by our self-confessed adulterous deputy leader. Something very wrong with our worldwide politics. We are not setting a good example for young women and girls in the wake of the "me too" scandal of sexual harassment. Something very wrong indeed!

[girl99]

@greenpea @Former-Member @Queenie

Yes it's really sad the state of the world and how women are treated.  I'm not saying all men are bad because I do know some very good men, so this is not a 'man hater' rant.  It's just a sad realisation that women all over the world are pretty much treated badly.  As a group we have little money, lots of responsiblities and we get very little appreciation of what we do (looking after others, cooking, child rearing, caring for old people, cleaning up, having babies, working all the time).  More women suffer from mental health problems worldwide and it is very clear why.  I don't think it is a fault in a woman's brain, or a chemical imbalance or anything like that,  but rather her place in society, how she has been treated and how the world in general poorly treats women.  Our male leaders are embarassing and their total arrogance amazes me that they think it is okay to behave like this. Why do women just sit passively by and let this occur?  We hear about race riots in history, but never sex riots.  

[frog]

I'm with you @girl99 and yes @Queenie @Former-Member @greenpea it is a sorry state of affiars.

[Sahara]

@girl99, I agree with almost everything you've said- except that 'we never hear of sex (gender) riots'.  

There has been a huge up-rising against male rule/male control in the U.S. with women only marches against president Trump... and more of the same in Australia, only to a lesser extent. 

This has actually been going on for more than 100 years - beginning with the Suffragettes campaigning for the right for women to vote. 

There was even an excellent film released last year called "Suffragette" - which is really worth seeing.

Women can and do protest against discrimination, abuse and gender inequality. I encourage you to use the Internet to find a women's group near you and to get involved! 

International Women's Day is March 8th. There is probably a function of to celebrate this day in your town. If not, it's not too late to organise one yourself.... you could call up local council and ask if they are interested in doing something. 

As you have probably realised by now...  I am a feminist- out and proud! 

[Sahara]

I can also heartily recommend this book by Australian feminist Clementine Ford. I read it last year and it was very moving.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @girl99 @Queenie @Former-Member 

I will look out for that book.  @Sahara

I watched the Suffragette movie and another "Iron Jawed Angels" set in US.

I am not deliberately feminist, I had unrealistic airy fairy ideas that the sexes were equal, but somehow we seem to have go the extra mile. There are so many by problems regarding social behviours around gender by both sexes.  Sometimes it is the women that make things difficult, but also it seems best for women to band together if possible.

Early in January I was fortunate to be involved in a street opera "Serenading Adela".  Adela was Emmeline Pankhursts daughter who came to Australia.  She went gaol for activism re anti-conscription and was serenaded in song by her supporters. It was great learning about strong dedicated women in Melbourne circa 100 years ago.

[Sahara]

Hi @Appleblossom, @girl99, @frog, @Queenie, @Former-Member and anyone that I have missed.

@Appleblossom, I am so glad to hear that you sung in a street opera that had a feminist message (among other messages, I'm sure.) I think that is wonderful. There is no need to be overtly feminist or call yourself feminist - each individual has different ways of relating to women's issues.

It's just that when I saw what @girl99 wrote, I felt in my heart that she would be very interested in feminism - but there is no need to assume anything of someone elses behalf, of course and I think I may have jumped in, "half-cocked" (excuse the bad pun ). A lot of young women do not identify with feminism, even though they identify with inequality between the sexes.

This past year I believe I have seen more women speak up and speak out than ever before. I feel as though I see new articles on women's issues/feminism in the paper every day. I read all about Clementine Ford's feminist book (Fight Like a Girl) in an in-flight magazine on a plane trip! I thought to myself 'Wow, feminism is going mainstream, now!' - an in-flight magazine- usually the most tame and mainstream reading material that there is.

I think I see feminism as a way for women to feel more powerful about the things they want to denounce in our society - the casual misogyny of the mass-media, for example, and to talk to other women about how they feel, too.

I for one, was upset to see Barnaby Joyce's girlfriend's photo on the front of a newspaper.... it's almost like they were trying to shame her for being pregnant? I mean, he is the one who ended his marriage- he is the one who has something to answer for... to answer to his wife and kids, I believe, and not really to the media or the tax-payers.

After all, how many people are divorced and in new relationships or actually re-married? It is very common.... we don't generally bat an eye about it! We don't pick apart the reasons of why the marriages broke down of every minister who has been divorced, do we? It seems immature to me.

I'm probably getting off the track.