My story | TW: suicide

[jb6]

Hi there!

It's incredible to see so many strangers caring about the well-being of other strangers all around Australia. 

I want to share my story because maybe it'll help someone who desperately needs it.

On the 27th of December, 2019 I attempted suicide using a prescribed medication. At the time, I was struggling with thoughts of worthlessness and struggled to identify what I was feeling for my girlfriend, whether it was love or indifference. I was having sleepless nights and lost over two-thirds of my body weight. I first made up my mind when my dad decided to leave to go to the shops with his partner that day. I wrote a note to my family and girlfriend telling them that I was sorry. 

Following my attempt, I went to two psychologists, a family therapist, and two psychiatrists. I was on medication for two years. I've only just recently gotten off my pills. I still have depression and anxiety, as I always will, but now I can take care of myself.

On the 27th of December, in my 15th year on this earth, I attempted to end my life.

[Eve7]

I’m glad you’re still here @jb6 

Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

[cloudcore]

Hi @jb6 , 

Welcome to the forums 💛

I can see that the 27th of December is a big date for you, how are you feeling reflecting on it all now?

It sounds like you've come a long way with your mental health journey since then. I know for myself, it was difficult to hang on and see through therapy/treatment when I struggled the most with my depression- so I just want to acknowledge your courage and strength in pushing forward to get to where you are now. 😊

I hope you have a find a supportive community here,

cloudcore ⛅

[Paperdaisy]

@jb6 Thank you for being here and sharing your story. Your story has power and you give hope to others in a similar place. 

Please take care and keep being brave 💝

[wellwellwellnez]

That's very deep what you just laid out. Deep and profound. Seeing your story makes me automatically ask myself, what is love? Next thought, what a question! Next thought, what other question is there?

People like to say love is chemicals, but everything is chemicals. I like to work on "attachment theory" approaches (I've got some "avoidant disorder" in that area). Helpful as that is, I wouldn't say attachment theory sums up the total of love.

To me, it's a bit like faith. It chooses you but is also a choice. It's an illusion but it also breaks the ..... distraction of materialism. (Or something like that. That analogy might depend on how people feel about the "faith lens").

You're making me think outside my box, right now. Great post. You're a deep digger. Here for it.

[wellwellwellnez]

You know, I wouldn't just saying "digging" I would also say building and climbing. That level of reflection doesn't just come out of no-where. No-one here is going to say it's easy but you may have come further than you think.

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing @jb6 ,

Your story is so powerful. I'm pretty certain much of the community can resonate with what you have shared.

As @wellwellwellnez has mentioned, it is a reminder of how far you have come, and the opportunities that arise with every challenge.

It is very much appreciated,

tyme

[wellwellwellnez]

Also (I'm also'ing to organize my thoughts) (Also kind of echoing @tyme @Paperdaisy @cloudcore @Eve7  a bit but it's worth echoing.) It's really altruistic that you shared your story for the betterment of others. I'm feeling the hard stuff but I'm also feeling the love.