Major Depression

[Holly83]

Hi, 

I am finding it really hard to get out of bed at least 4 out of the 7 days of the week. I have three children and they need me to be more focused but I am seriously not getting any where. We had to move interstate may 2017 because of a traumatic incident, so we have all had to get use to a new beginning. I have a Boyfriend and he helps but he works long hours so I am always home alone. My parents and all the family live six hours away from us. There is a waiting list to get an appointment with psychologist. I dont like sharing my thoughts and my past with anyone. I haven't made any friends. I am feeling like the worst parent in the history of parents. I wish I could have someone with me 24/7 so they could motivate me to get through this depression. 

[marchhare]

hi Holly 83, welcome to the SANE forums. You sound as if you feel a bit lonely and alone. I am sure you will get some support and advice from fellow forum members

[Former-Member]

Hi @Holly83,

Depression is a hard thing to deal with especially when you have responsibility of young ones. Mine is 6 how old are your little ones. 

I too come from a background of trauma and trying to get past it is no easy feat. My depression got that bad and worse a few weeks ago and I went to hospital in the worst way I felt like the worlds worst parent then because my boy saw it all. 

I know it's easier said then done and even I have to be reminded but make sure you make time for you each day whether it be reading, taking a walk or just crying in the shower (believe me it helps) 

I also have an amazing partner who works long hours and while he does try to help I find that he doesn't quite get what depression or any of my other diagnosises do to me and that I can't control it.

I can understand being away from family can be hard but honestly I'm at the other end of the scale there I wish they were six hours away, but that is because my family is kinda toxic, they always have drama and everyone is always trying to prove that theirs is the worst.

Friends can be hard to find you just need to give it time. My 4 best and only friends I met at a weekend group for people who struggle to make connections because of their mental health. You could look up your local community centre see if they provide anything like that. 

As for having someone 24/7 for motivation I live with a friend who provides that for me and believe me it gets exhausting. 

While it is not in person I'm usually on here daily unless I'm really struggling so I'm happy to be a support for you on here I also have my own thread in social spaces called babydragons den and there are lots of other fun threads there as well where you can talk to others one I love is called Friday night feast .

Anyway welcome to the forums @Holly83.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Holly83,

Welcome to the forums. It's great to have you here. I know that having 24/7 online friends isnt the same as having a person who is actually physically by your side all of the time, but I hope you might take some comfort, in knowing that this is a space that you can always turn to if you're feeling alone or overwhelmed.

Sometimes it can take a bit of time to find the threads and members who you most connect with. Some people find it helpful to introude themselves here.

I hope that you will keep reaching out while you are waiting for your psychology session to come around. Aside from the forums, there are helplines that can offer temporary support such as:

Sane Helpline: 1800 18 7263

Samaritans: 135 247

Lifeline: 13 11 14

There are also some online therapeutic services that you can begin any time, such as: This Way Up and Mental Health Online

All the best,

Chamomile.

[Holly83]

I have three kids and they are a 15 yr old girl, 14 yr old boy and a 7 yr old boy. 

I need a good friend to peel me out of bed!! I can't seem to push myself out of bed most days and its starting to really get to me!

[CheerBear]

Hi @Holly83. It's nice to 'meet' you.

Your post caught my eye as I too have three kids, had to move away from my family and friends, and I've struggled to make friends in the area. I'm getting there now but it's been a slow process. At times I too have felt pretty guilty about how consuming my 'stuff' can be and how it can make it difficult to give my kids the attention they'd like me to give them.

Do you have any hobbies or interests you enjoy? Something that can help me get up and going is to find that one thing to look forward to doing during the day.

There are heaps of people to meet and connect with here on the forum and lots to join in with if you'd like. There's a thread called Daly goals, motivation and check in that you may be interested in, and also a thread here where you might meet some other parents. 

One tip I was given when I joined was to use the @ symbol in front of a user's name which will tag them if you'd like to.

It's great to see you here and I hope you find it helpful to be here. 

[Holly83]

Hello,

Thank you for your help I will have to look into the pages and I will have to start thinking of things that I look forward to every day.

I just got off the phone to a lovely mental health professional from the sane helpline. She has helped me with a direct number to a psychologist that is in my area. Just talking to her has motivated me to have a shower and to get out of bed.

I know tomorrow is a new day so hopefully I can get up and push through. 

I just wish I had someone with me that motivated me.

[destructive]

Hi Holly 83

Glad you got to speak with someone and have a bit of a plan to move forward. Before the move and depression what would you do for fun, to socialise. I know it would be hard to get motivated for something like this but maybe there is a social/hobby group around. Sometimes being so isolated and alone can just compound things.

I hope you can get some helpful support soon.

D x

[57chev]

Hi,

I have had severe clinical depression for the last 20 years. I have had a few set backs over the years but have been well for a long time. I will never fully recover and will be on my medication for the rest of my life but thats ok.

You are the only motivation you need. Your inner strength and determination will get you through it. Other people can be there to support you but the power to beat this lies within you. Dont allow your depression to take away your power. Let your inner strength rise up. You've got this. You can beat it and you will be so much stronger and resilient for it.