Looking for friends

[Philler]

Hello,

I am a 28yo male who lives in the southern suburbs of Adelaide. I've suffer from social anxiety for most of my life and am currently on medication and seeing a pyschiatrist and psychologist. I am also on antidepressents and currently on a pension with centrelink. I have also applied for a mentor through MIFSA but haven't heard from them for a few weeks now.

To be blunt I don't really have any friends. Because of my shyness I can't really talk to people and don't make eye contact. Other than that I think i am quite high functioning: I still go out to the shops and such but always by myself.

I have thought about joining a social group but I don't feel I am ready for a group situation. For years I have made friends online but it's just not the same, and i've had some bad experiences with people online and I can't put my trust in anonymous people online (no offense!)

So can anyone give me advice on how to meet others like me? I'm sure they are out there. Since this is an anonymous forum I am not allowed to ask to meet people here but I thought someone would be able to guide me in the right direction.

[kato]

@Philler 

Hi Philler, i can relate to how your feeling, altho my expierence is a little bit different, i went through a fair bit of crap in the last few months of last year, and because of such have lost majority of my mates. I won't go into too much detail but they it seems picked the side of my ex.

I find myself struggling to catch up with the couple of friends i have left, One thing i have found helpful is the support from this forum, it has helped me work through some things, I believe there are organisations around who offer group counselling/sessions, perhaps your psyhologist or psychiatrist might know some, i am not sure who, but perhaps a couple of other members know more, i know @Alessandra1992 knows a bit about groups etc and maybe some others also have expierence, i am still trying to get myself confident again.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi @Philler
It's good to 'meet' another person from Adelaide. 🙂
I have always had trouble making friends due to anxiety and the fact that I don't go out to social places...
In the last few years I lost my only friend outside of work, and now the only people I talk to are a few people at work.
My Doctor has said I would benefit from attending group therapy, which while it sounds terrifying to me, I am beginning to realise that it would probably be good.
I haven't a clue how to meet people either, so I'm keeping an eye on this post to see if anyone has any ideas. 😛

[Philler]

@kato 

@Crazy_Bug_Lady 

Nice to hear from both of you.

Perhaps I will post more on this forum as well but would like to mainly meet some people in person as I won't be able to improve otherwise. I know I said I wasnt that keen on group therapy but I feel like I would be willing to do that if required as meeting individuals may not be as easy.

Maybe i'll meet you there then crazy_bug_lady 🙂 I must admit though I'm not as crazy about bugs 😛

Hopefully someone has some information on group therapy sessions or some other kind of meetings.

[Hobbit]

Hi @Philler ,

I'm called Hobbit, I'm one of the moderators on these forums.

Firstly, welcome to the forums!! I have read your post, and really hear you. Anxiety about meeting people can be a very hard thing, and often even harder to combat.

You know what helps me quite a bit is this - when I walk up the street, I just try smiling at people I see. I know it's a really small thing, but when I start getting people smiling back at me, it makes me feel a little more 'accepted' into society at large. It's amazing what such a simple thing as someone just smilling at you can do for one's self-esteem. Then I make a point to go the extra bit and just say "hi". Usually get a hello or two coming back at me, and it makes me feel a little better. Anyway, I reckon if everyone just smiled a bit more, the world would be a better place!!! Give it a go.

What I know you will find on these forums are a bunch of really loveley people who you can connect with for support, nurturing and hope for the future. I feel like I "know" a lot of people on these forums, and I really look forward to jumping on and moderating each week, kind of like "catching up with friends". @Alessandra1992 @PeppiPatty @Former-Member @Rick are just a few of the wonderful people here.

I hear what you are saying about seeing people face to face though, and I did a bit of research for you and found these groups you might like to contact. The first is the Adelaide Social Anxiety Group, and you can find them here. The second is The Panic Room SA, which is specialised anxiety counselling, online and group support from people wih anxiety. You can find them here.

Philler, I hope you find this helpful, and I reckon it's a good idea to keep posting anyway!!

Hobbit.

[Alessandra1992]

I would also try mutual peer support groups like grow.. Transformed my life and led me to changing career to mental health...a good group is first and foremost, welcoming, accepting and loving...and through getting to know each other, we build trust and hope.. And over time.. Life changes..there are all sorts of groups you can try including facilitated groups through community mental health to groups like grow, bipolar babes (possibly Melbourne only), to anxiety...you can always ring ahead, and many groups welcome a support person such as a close friend if that will help you through the door.. Let us know how you go @Philler..

[Philler]

@Alessandra1992 

@Hobbit 

Hello and thankyou for the suggestions! I have joined that meetup group and RSVP to attend the Zoo trip and also I will look into this Grow website as it seems like what I am looking for.

Thankyou again. Maybe I will post again to update you on how this works out for me 

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Awesome @Philler! Let me know how it goes? I might give it a shot later down the track.