Good Morning

[Tinsel]

Good morning, I'm new to the forums and looking forward to exploring the forums and getting to know others..

I'm 48, have battled episodes of Depression since my teens, finally seeing a regular psychiatrist and accompanying psychologist for the past two or three years, prior to that my GP.

Had a really, really bad episode of depression last month and I'm so afraid I won't survive the next one.

There have been very few discussions about my diagnosis, to be honest I don't care much what it is; I just want to stop this happening. There have been mentions about bipolar and just this week the words personality disorder came up at my psychology appointment last week. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow..

Anyway, that's me. I feel that nobody understands me and don't want to be alone in this anymore, so here I am.

I have three adult children whom I adore and two cats I also adore. 

I work part time and love my job but at times can be very intense and stressful otherwise would be full time..

I enjoy science fiction and films etc based on history, and please for the love of anything good please don't mention 'reality television' in my presence!

Currently on leave for a month- Drs want me in hospital but I'm not in a fund, so trying to spend this time caring for myself and get back to where I can go back to work. Sometimes i feel better, that I'm lingering and should just pick up and get back there, and then at other times I know that that's not going to happen, and I'm afraid that I'll never get back to work, I have battled this all year and just cant do any more.

Anyway that's me. Hi 😎

[Owlunar]

Hi @Tinsel 

Welcome to the forum - people here are very kind and understanding and we support each other - I am sure you will find this to be a good place to post and I am looking forward to knowing you better

All the best with your psychiatist tomorrow - I understand despression and that's enough of a diagnosis - anything else might sound scary but if they give you another "label" try and remember that you are the same person as you were before the dx - and work from there

It sounds scary that you feel you won't live through anothe bout of depression - tough yards - I understand you don't want to be alone in this and in this forum you won't be. And we will understand - there are so many people here there is sure to be support for you

Are you adult children still living at home or are you empty-nesting? You don't mention a husband so perhaps you are living alone - as do I - and that can be challenging

It's really hard if not impossible to just "pick up" from depression. it is a real disorder and not in your imagination.  A month of self-care might work well for you - we have a lot of self-care threads here - and social spaces - just being in touch with people is good and helps

I like science and history too - and that other kind of TV - I don't want to hear about it either - in fact - really - where I have been in this forum TV isn't discussed much at all

All the best Tinsel and I hope to see you around

Dec

[Tinsel]

Hi Dec thanks for the welcome 😊

[Maggie]

@Tinsel  Welcome from me also.

Theres nothing I could add to what @Owlunar  has already said. 

Hope to meet you around the foeums.

[Tinsel]

Thanks @Maggie 

[utopia]

@Tinsel 

Hello there.  I also live with depression,  MDD.  so I can understand how you are feeling. 

Unfortunately I've been off work for 5 years due to this mental hell.  Wanting to work,  but knowing I just can't cope.  I get it. 

Just recently though my depression left me,  so I'm starting to build myself up so I can go and find a job and rejoin the community. 

I too really loath 'reality' TV.  Uuurrrggghhh.  Yuk. 

Hope you look around some of the threads on the Forum,  especially the social threads.  There's something for everyone.