Coming back - addiction programs and trauma

[-Rayne-]

It’s been a long time since I was here - months, maybe longer, I’m not good with time. Several good things have happened. My gender transition is well under way: I’ve had surgery and pass as male about 80% of the time. I feel a lot lighter because of that. Anxiety has halved. 

I have DID and my systems have been stable for about a year now. There’s more communication and, though far from perfect, the stability has helped me be able to stay safe and work, which is my lifeline.

I have a new job, which has removed the financial pressure I was living with before but it’s an extremely stressful one - high stakes, responsibility for others and politically sensitive (which means I can’t talk to friends about it). I’m enjoying the challenge and don’t want to quit but I decided I wanted to try and get a grip on my addictions because they were affecting my capacity to work. I started a meditation-based addiction program and I’m thinking it might be too much. It’s good - I relate more to what’s taught than any other program I’ve tried. It’s real and addresses the link between addictive behaviour and trauma. But maybe it’s more real than we can handle. I’m afraid because I’m hearing and feeling things I haven’t heard/felt since we completely crashed 3 years ago. I don’t know whether to stop. I know some struggle is a normal part of the process but how do I know when it’s too much?

We don’t have a DID therapist at the moment; just a LGBTQ counsellor who knows nothing about multiplicity. I don’t know what to do. Thanks for listening. 

Rayne

[Hope4me]

Welcome back @-Rayne-! 🖐😊

It seems life has offered up some quality moments and situations, I'm glad for you. Your transition into transition, (if that's a thing) sounds positive and grounding. Good preparation to address addiction issues, though it sounds like you're doing well there. Self awareness is half the battle.

I don't have much time this morning so I'll make this brief. Sorry. I'm wondering if you can scout the net to find a DID psych who can do skype or phone appt's. Even if they're across state lines, it's still a possibility to access support. There's always hope with technology the way it is these days.

Good luck with everything. I'll pop in when I can to say "hi" ok.

Warm thoughts;

Hope 

[Shaz51]

welcome back @-Rayne-

[Jupiter]

Good to see you around here again @-Rayne-. Thank you for sharing with us how you have been over the last few months. So many positive changes in your life!