Awareness of Women's Mental Health

[Sophia1]

bless you @Owlunar @Maggie

we must be on the same wavelength @dec

Iwas about to write somewhere..

could not even decide where...

I am worn out too

I love this subject also..down to your last comment about

Sweet old lady" how my mother was seen by the world..

I have had two days of dealing with government departments

and think I need a hospital rest as a result

am currently on the phone to a supervisor..

typing here with one hand..

so rest up and we shall meet again

love talking to both of you xx

[Maggie]

@Sophia1Take care

[BlueBay]

Women’s mental health suffers when going through hormonal changes such as menopause. 

And nit having a mother’s support has greatly affected in my mental health. But then how can she when she is not supportive controlling snd manipulative 

[Owlunar]

There is so little we can do to change other people @BlueBay - you see your mother as being unsupportive, controlling and manipulative and no doubt that's how she behaves

But here we are - I understand because my mother was not at all helpful when I went through the deadly change - and it is hard to accept - that is our own condition and our mothers' distancing themselves from it

I had Hormone Replacement Therapy which was my choice and it helped me - it is something to be worked out between your doctors and yourself - it may or may not be helpful

But you are seeing your mother now and this situation is still rocky - 

Personally I did not really understand my mother until after she had died and free of her now I can see her better and better and I can see the reasons for her bad behaviour and I have been able to forgive her - this I did for my own sake - not hers

But to be helpful - reasons are not excuses - and caustic behaviour is an added issue when we are vulnerable

Try and keep your mother at arm's length and expect little and care about yourself 

I hear you 

Dec

[Owlunar]

Aw thanks @Maggie

That really hits the spot - it says it all

I have good moments and less than good moments - I can feel really sneezy and irritable and then totally exhausted and then feel okay and I guess this will last as long as it takes

And my doctor has suggested a nasal spray to go with my antihistamine - tomorrow that can happen

Bless you too - bless everyone - how tired we can get sometimes

Dec

[BlueBay]

Thankyou for your reply to me @Owlunar

it means a lot to me 

yes I’m keeping my mum at arms length and not visiting them often. 

Take care @Owlunar xxoo 

[Appleblossom]

Great cartoon @Maggie

Apparently there really is an Echidna called Matilda who sneezes ... 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay@Razzle@Jumpingcactus

I have been looking around the forum for another topic here where I am really working hard on Women's Self-Esteem (or lack of it) and how it impacts their Mental Health

So I have been there and yep - new topic could be

The other side of divorce - and for me that would be back living in the same house with a man I was legally married to but separated - and it is just plain horrible and I hear all of you

It's really hard to break with marriage - it's against everything we wanted - we were short of our 24th anniversary when I told him to leave - I did not want divorce - I couldn't live with him any longer and no need to talk about his faults - I had my own and according to his mother I was totally at fault

But his nature was that of a silent and morose man who could not respond to life very much - it was like living with a shadow who couldn't interact, didn't want to go out, couldn't really help out - and I am not listing these as faults - 

I think he was depressed - but it was a situation where neither of us cared anymore - after our daughter moved out there was nothing and we all have our story

And I can see this - if our husbands are not supportive, pick at us as never doing what he thinks of as important, 

But it really does seem to me that women who are put down, ignored, nagged at, told they are inadequate - etc - I am not at all surprised that no one wants to be intimate - there are various kinds of intimacy and one of those would be the sharing of life's burdens - how can anyone allow themselves to become more vulnerable as necessary for physical intimacy - it's a really lonely situation

No wonder the divorce rate is so high - the expectations on both men and women is high and really unfounded except by society - 

Self-esteem has died - and in my case - I had no respect left for my then-h - where can a relationship go when life reaches just a low?

I've been alone for getting on for 30 years now and I don't regret it - my ex was the kind of man who needs to be married - he was remarkable helpless after we separated - and for whatever reason he has been married to his second wife longer than we were married and this does not bother me at all - whatever works for them works for them

But I see the breakdown as my fault but not in the wrong way - I wouldn't and couldn't put up with the loneliness of a life-partner whose nature was so different from my own out-going nature - I was intolerant and I admit that

But I couldn't stay

Any comments about self-esteem here will be welcome and gratefully read

Dec

@Appleblossom@Maggie@utopiaand anyone else who has battled with this

[utopia]

I asked my ex husband to leave. @Owlunar. I couldn't handle one more day of him not participating in our family.  Meaning me and our son.  Didn't matter what I said or tried,  he wasn't  interested.  So out he went. 

It's hard living with a guy who expects you to cook and clean for him,  be emotionally and physically there when he needs,  and support him in all he does . But who doesn't reciprocate with anything. 

Having a 2 year old toddler  who deserved my undivided attention & should have had his father's too.  That was exhausting.  And then having to pick up after a 'man's who can't wash his own dishes or cook the family a meal. 

Nope.  Not for me. I figured it would be easier to just live on my own with my 2 year old,  than to have to look after 2 toddlers (one I was married to ).

I don't regret my decision at all. 

But I think enough time has passed that it's  time for me to find someone special again.  At nearing 50, I don't want to spend too much more time alone.