Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

How are you going @Susana

[Susana]

Hi @Former-Member,
Thanks for checking, life is still hectic at times but since mum is still getting good care in hospital, I can at least breathe a little better.

The thought of the future is unsettling as I don't think I can care for mum and my family as well. At some point my brothers will have to take care of her or find alternative living arrangements for her.

[Bella1978]

Hi @Susana *hugs*

Was just reading your posts re: your mum. How is she today, and how are you? Sorry to hear your mum is in hospital but hopefully, she will receive the help she needs. When my mum has been hospitalised it also gives me a reprieve but then I feel guilty because I can actually relax without worrying about her. I'm sure these are the usual feelings a lot of carers have though.

It sounds like your brother isn't able to give the support to your mum that you can. I know how that feels - I have an older sister but she does not help me at all with my caring role. If anything, she can tend to trigger my mum's depression and anxiety.

Sending love your way.

x

[Susana]

Hi @Bella1978,

I am slowly learning not to feel guilty when mum's being cared for in hospital as she is safe there and getting the professional attention that she needs. I also can then invest im much needed quality time with my own family.

My brothers all work very demanding jobs and so it's difficult for them to care for her into the same capacity that I have tried to these past couple of years. However, being the only daughter contributes to me landing with the bulk of the day to day caring. However, I now realise that it's not sustainable the way it's been going the last couple of years as I also have a young son with autism as well.

Actually I think mum's depency on me is not healthy for her either.....

There's an article shared in one of the other forums that I found helpful in distinguishing between a caregiver and a caretaker. I am learning to be more like the caregiver as I had been functioning more as a caretaker all my life.

I will post the link to the article when I find it.

[Susana]

Hi @Bella1978,

Here's the link: http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/self-care/

Hope you find it helpful too.

@Faith-and-Hope shared it originally in the carers tips post.

[Bella1978]

Hey @Susana - thanks heaps for the link - will check it out.

sending you love and hugs

[Bella1978]

@Susana. How are you? 😘

[Susana]

Hi @Bella1978,

Sorry it's taken me such a long time to reply! I am not too bad...thanks for asking! Mum is in her 6th week at residential respite and starting to find her feet again... Which is really a relief. She did have a fall just over a week ago though... Thankfully nothing was broken and she is recovering from minor strains, bruise remarkably well. Our little family is fighting off this season's cold at present, hence have trying to stay away from mum so we don't pass any nasties to her. As a consequence, my brothers have had too do more of the visiting, which in retrospect has been good.

Just read your latest thread one the mutual support forum.... Sounds like your mum is getting the professional attention she needs at the moment even though it was hard to get her there in the fiest place. Goos thing that you are taking things one day at a time.... That's the way to go.

Take care of yourself too! X

[Shaz51]

Hello @Susana, @Bella1978, @Former-Member, we love you and we are thinking  you oxoxoxoxo