Anxiety and BPD

[Basmith]

Hi, I'm new here and I've never done anything like this before, but I wanted to share my story to see if there was anyone in a similar situation that I could chat with. 

I am 22 and a student nurse about to finish up study and I feel like I need to get my mental health under control before I start working. 

Up until recently I had no idea what was wrong with me, I have been an anxious person my entire life but I always just put it down to being an "over thinker". I was diagnosed with anorexia at 15 and this contributed to ongoing anxiety and depression. Because I was diagnosed with an eating disorder a lot of my other symptoms were brushed aside by the health care team and just put down to the ED. Recently my mental health started to decline and my anxiety took control, I was having panic attacks which was scary because I had no one to talk to about it. My other symptoms were, extreme mood changes, self destructive behaviours, and depression. I finally saw a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. At first this was a shock to me due to the stigma and all the bad things I had heard. I didn't want to be associated with that, because I had the misconception that BPD made you a bad person. Now that I have done my research and understand that BPD is an illness that deserves as much awareness and support and any other mental illness. I wanted to reach out and get some support because I am lost and have no one to speak to about it. 

Like I said its my first time doing this so I don't know if what I have written is okay or not. I would love to chat with people going through this because I know I'm not alone. 

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Basmith,

Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is great that you have found us - thank you for sharing some of your story with us. 

One of the best things about the Forums is that it is a place to talk about things like you have discussed in a safe, anonymous and supportive space. As you said, it is also a place to chat with others that can relate to what you are going through so you know you are not alone. At the end of this post I will tag a couple of community guides that may be able to offer some valuable insight and wisdom.

It sounds like you have been through quite a bit over the years yet despite this you have almost completed your degree. I think that's great! I think you should be really proud of yourself!

I think its really good that you are taking care of your mental health and seeking support. I would imagine the initial diagnosis of BPD would have been a shock to you but I totally agree with you, it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I believe when people start researching and better understand any type of mental health disorder it can become apparent that a lot of what they think they know is often founded more in misconception and misunderstanding. I totally agree that any mental health issue deserves understanding, compassion, and awareness to help reduce the stigma and misconceptions and this can often come through education.

I will attached a couple of links to help you navigate the Forums a little more easily. The first one is a thread to chats around BPD threads. The other link is information about BPD information. 

I think its really good that you have found us and I wish you all the best. I think you have found a great place to get support from people who get it from the inside out.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

On an aside, if you want to directly chat with someone on the Forums use the @ symbol and then start typing their name directly after it. A dropdown box should appear, and you then select their name. This ensures that they are notified of any posts you mention them in.

@BPDSurvivor @outlander 

[hanami]

Hi there @Basmith 

Welcome to the forums. I'm one of the peer workers here at Sane. What you've written is perfectly okay. Thank you so much for sharing your story, sounds like such a rocky road to finally getting a diagnosis. 

We definitely have other members here with BPD so I hope you get lots of support here as well as making meaningful connections. 

I thought this link might help you, it's a discussion that we had here at Sane a few weeks back. https://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Awareness-Wee... 

Looking forward to seeing you here on the forums

Hanami ❤️

[puzzlingdino]

Welcome @Basmith, and thanks for sharing your experiences with us! 

Firstly, well done on getting through your studies! I understand how tough it can be to manage studying when you have a mental illness, so you should be very proud of yourself 🙂 And I’m glad that you are able to identify a goal that you want to achieve in your mental health journey. 

I can definitely relate to some of what you have shared above. I was recently diagnosed with BPD after years of struggling, as prior to the diagnosis it seemed the focus was only on my existing diagnoses of anxiety and depression, and the other symptoms I was experiencing got missed. 

It sounds like you have been through a lot with your mental health, and I’m sorry that you experienced that. Hopefully you are able to access the support you need moving forward. You mentioned that you received your diagnosis from a psychiatrist - did they talk to you about any treatment or support you could access? 

You are definitely not alone in your experiences, and there are many lovely people on the forums to chat to. If there’s anything in particular that you need support with (and are comfortable sharing), or if there are any questions you have, feel free to ask! 

[Basmith]

Thank you @FloatingFeather, @hanami and @puzzlingdino for your replies, I really appreciate the support! 

In terms of speaking people who are going through the same thing I definitely have lots of questions. But just a quick question for now, is it possible to speak one to one to people in the forums that have lived experience or does it work by just replying to the main post? 

Either way I'm grateful I was told about this website because I can see that there are people who are willing to help and that means a lot! 

Thanks!!