Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[NikNik]

Hi @perseverer

I was thinking about you and your family over the weekend.

How is your son?

It sounds like you were doing a great job at managing things moment to moment, which is the best thing we can do during these times.

[Former-Member]

hello@perseverer

My heart goes out to your son with his pain. He has experienced help, offered and then withdrawn. How does that feel? Horrid!!

Does your son have a psychologist or psychiatrist. In my state the local doctor refers the patient and they are put on a mental health plan for a period of time. Not sure if 6months or 12 months. The plan can be extended if at expiry date further help is assessed as needed. You could ask your son's doctor if he knows of someone who specialises in paranoia and hallucinations.

Your son is in acknowledgement of his illness which is an incredible step forward for him. Yes of course he is frightened and is not wanting to go back to such a rigid system that the cat system employs.

They work best at the first point of crisis.

If your son can find a professional he feels safe with, preferably a psychiatrist who can look after the medication side as well.

You are a wonderful, caring mother, sitting up watching films with him.

get some help for yourself too, this is ongoing for a while at least and you need to be strong. NEAMI is a national organisation as is Carers Australia who have mental illness support area. I have my first  appointment with a psychologist on22nd of this month. 6 sessions per financial year. I have stressed that what I want from the appointments is to increase my knowledge of schizophrenia and how I can help my son when delusional as well as myself. How I speak to him, what is best for him.

I received a text message from my son's dad last night who spoke to my son yesterday. he rang him  for more money which was sent to him. I replied to his dad, great that he sounded ok, but how do you know what he is going to spend that money on? where is he staying? We have to know this. He did send a message back saying he agreed.

I found myself feeling numb. For 10 days I have been out of my mind. I have experienced every feeling imaginable. Yesterday random thoughts "is he dead" "what if he is not found or identified". I have gone from bawling to being enraged after speaking to so many people on the phone, police, hospitals, cat team here and it is always we cant help you here, ring..... i have one lady on my side who is brilliant thank goodness. She is my angel sent to me by my dad. She has been ringing checking up on me even on her day off which i have told her not to do.

im sorry if i have already said this somewhere and you have to read it again. I retreated into myself and the world is just happening without me at the moment.

[perseverer]

Hi @NikNik, and thank you for checking up on me. That was so kind of you! I did phone the CAT team and they said they would send a note to my son's case worker saying he has deteriorated and feels he needs a medication review. It has been one hell of a weekend, but we survived. I am trying to use the fact that my son accepts his illness and has a good home as my starting base. I am extremely fortunate in that my son is compliant and if I say, "Don't leave the house while you are hallucinating" then he doesn't. He did have a brief period on the weekend when he crossed over to not being aware of his condition and believing his hallucinations. It was just horrible seeing the change in his physical appearance as this was happening. I just persisted in speaking kindly and gently to him and especially insisting that I am his mother and I love him. Somehow that seemed to help a lot and that phase of the psychosis soon passed. He is still having trouble sleeping but last night he didn't wake me up to be with him, so that is a good sign.

[perseverer]

Hi @Former-Member, my heart goes out to you and your son, too. I am so glad you have had some news of him and you know he is still alive. Even that he is in contact with his dad and asking for money is a good sign ie something is motivating him. I did try to post my location for you but it was removed for violating anonymity standards.  I am in southern Victoria. Also I write a blog on blogger called, "A Year of caring For Mental Illness" - I don't know if I am allowed to mention that here but it is worth a shot. I could exchange more information with you on blogger. I have already been through the carers' associations. We have used all that is on offer. I am afraid my situation just isn't catered for. I am a sole carer of a whole family of people with serious mental health issues. I also have to work full time to support the family. There are no benefits that in any way come close to being able to help me with what I have to deal with. Imagine how I feel going off to work each day knowing my schizophrenic son is in the care of his schizoaffective dad. And that those two are so full time coping with their own conditions that the Autistic son is just left to his own devices. I need another adult in my home as a carer full time. We have already been through many psychiatrists and many hospitals. I have so many ideas for improving the MH system though undoubtedly not everyone would agree with me. I will just say this though, you are doing the right thing informing yourself because no-one is going to just hand information to you. The trans cranial magnetic stimulation therapy that cured my son's catatonia was something we got onto ONLY because I found out about it online and asked my son's psychiatrist at that time. Otherwise it would never have been mentioned to us. I will be thinking of you - keep in touch!

[Appleblossom]

I dont think you are over-reacting @perseverer.  I love your name.  I have tried to be a carer of those with mental illness, but without personal support, and tried to be a perserverer too, but tearing up at the moment thinking about the immense struggles you, @Former-Member , me and so many others have.

I feel privileged to read your posts.

Apple

[perseverer]

Aw @Appleblossom, thank you! I looked up your story too and I realise you understand full well what we are going through. Bless you! I am home on holidays now for six weeks and I can hardly believe what a difference it has made to everybody's MH issues just with having me home. Son J's psychosis has passed, everyone is calmer and happier and reminiscing about things I have cooked for them! If only I could be home full time; I'm sure it would make a big difference.

[Former-Member]

hello @perseverer @Appleblossom

i found you again. Thank you for wanting to keep in touch. If you dont hear back from me please give me a gentle nudge.

I have been spreading myself around too much on here and know that I over empathise. So I am going to cull some of my responding. I will just have to try and let everyone know.

I was in a very bad state back when I was writing to you and honestly dont remember any of our correspondence.

I went into very deep depression after new years eve for about 9-10 days probably my mind's way of telling me "you are not listening so i am shutting down".

I babbled and rambled all over the place on here, some posts I have found others not. I have had mental health issues for most of my life. Major used to be clinical depression and anxiety. I see a psychiatrist.

I saw the psychologist to help with caring side for my second appointment this afternoon. She is spending most of the sessions talking about me, my breathing, depersonalisation and peripheral vision affected. She is very interesting and we have both connected very well. I see her in a month's time. I only get 6 sessions all in all.

How are things with your family? How are each of them? You are such a wonderful mother, truly you are an inspiration. I dont know how you manage working full time and then going home and caring for them all. I cant believe that you are not eligible for more help.What is the matter with this country?

I think you should go on one of those questionnaire programs they have on SBS.

I have had 2 different days of missed calls on my mobile with no caller id, one on christmas eve and one earlier today. As there are 3 or 4 calls minutes apart I know they are from my son. I literally have my mobile stuck to me but refuse to take it into the bathroom! I know that he will catch up with me eventually because I think his father has stopped sending him money. He is still interstate but will not give his address to his dad when he has asked for money.His dad said that he sounds ok. He sounded ok to the 3 different police teams who checked him out when registered as missing. The lady from the cat team said my son is very clever he knows how to respond. Of course he does. He knows how to play so that he does not get taken in.

I dont understand how bloqs work. someone once told me that I put @ before the name. I tried that but couldn't find yours.

I do hope things are more settled for you and your beautiful family. xxx