I just want to say that whilst I was out of line and it is my job to take responsibility for that, in my opinion it is never OK to speak for someone else and the state their trauma has left them in or to project their perception of a survivor on to them, whether they mean well or not. I don’t think that others can describe the impact of anything I have endured, as that is undermining to me and makes me feel like I am a fool. Thus, I do not agree with the statement that "sometimes we don't see it in ourselves".
I don't think others can compare their suffering to mine and project their wishes onto me. In my opinion, others should not communicate in such a way wherein it is portrayed that the impact of one’s trauma is less than for any reason whatsoever.
It is not anyone’s place to conceptualise or communicate about me or my trauma in any manner. Especially if they were not there, they did not go through it. Members of the forums only know what I choose to divulge about myself. They don't have my life and they don't exist in my life. They are not me, so they don't have any place to make any judgements about me or my life, whether it be good, bad or otherwise.
I am the only one who can do that, and it is up to me to decide what resilience is and isn't for myself. It is my job to identify it, and it is only genuine if I do it myself.
I believe just because I have endured what I have it does not make me some poster child for child abuse survivors and recovery. It doesn't mean anything other than I am a child abuse survivor.
I am not excusing my out of line statements, but I am making it clear that I do not agree with many of your statements above. No-one here is wearing my shoes and I didn't give permission for them to steal my shoes and try and fit them on their own feet. I do not want others to comment on what characteristics they perceive me to have, and I never will because determining and affirming those is my job.
I didn't come here for sympathy or emotional support, or to be asked how my day is and what I'm doing. I came to try and find people who can provide me with actual answers or ways to deal with the problems in my original post.
I respect that many members interact in this manner, but I would appreciate this type of interaction being avoided in my case.
