All over again

[Former-Member]

And just to clarify, I don't just distrust them. If I could completely eradicate them from my life, I would and would be better off because of it. I wish I had no connection and nothing whatsoever to do with them. I will never respect them or give them benefit of doubt, and I will never forgive them for what they have done to my life. Stealing my childhood was more than enough, yet alone continuing to deprive me and force me to depend on their absolute nonsense and sh*t. 

[Former-Member]

How do I take care of myself, I don't. What gives me joy, absolutely nothing. Never experienced it and don't believe in it. 

[Former-Member]

Guess the honesty was too much.

[Gazza75]

@Former-Member, I hope you can find something that brings you comfort and happyness. It's what matters to you that it's important, not what other people say or society might think.  I have to head off soon.  It was nice to meet and chat a little with you.  

Take care

[Former-Member]

Frankly, I couldn't care less about happiness and comfort. I've made it through thus far, whether I agree with it or not, without them. I just want a life and some degree of day to day functioning, and to be me. Everything else is obsolete or at least secondary to those. And it would be nice to be able to path a real future. But it seems I ask for too much. 

[Gazza75]

@Former-Member, you've made it a long long way.  What you have been through would break most people.  I've been held by the system without my consent and its not a pleasant experience. 

You have every right to be yourself and forge your own path.  You definitely aren't asking to much as I see it.  They are fundamental rights that we should all have.  

Anyways, I hope your doing alright today.

[Former-Member]

I am broken @Gazza75  

Just not in a way that is visible to anyone else. I've been broken for a very long time now. 

[Former-Member]

But, you know, its whatever, I guess. I don't even know what alright is. 

[Gazza75]

@Former-Member, you seem to have a lot of spirit, fire and fight in you yet.  I've felt broken the last 6-8 months myself.  First physically and now with my mh.  Feel like i've been unjustly punished for helping my brother.  Not sure I have the same resilience as you.  Just because it's not visible doesn't mean it isn't there.

[Former-Member]

Everyone says that. I don't and I'm not.