A long rave

[Teej]

@CheerBear.

It would get me out of my head and rut.  

[Teej]

I’d have to let them know in the morning @CheerBear

[CheerBear]

Oh @Teej. Getting out of your head and your rut sounds so good. Would the other things you have planned do the same thing do you think?

[Teej]

@CheerBear

One of the things I have planned can be very tricky and can get me more in my head. It’s a little more complex than that. I kind of owe something (sorry talking in tongues a bit) . I also have my ongoing assessment with new psychologist. Would have gone with friend from tues arvo to thurs lunchtime and still been able to schedule psych in too. 

[CheerBear]

I get it is complex (without getting getting it exactly) @Teej. As far as your psych assessment - what would your psych think was good to do? Do you have a gut feeling about what to do

So many questions sorry.

[Teej]

Questions are better than burying my head in the sand @CheerBear which is my usual position. :face_with_rolling_eyes:

i dont know about psych. I guess I could ring and see. I have to have about 4 sessions first to see if I’m compatible with the therapy they are offering and if we can work together. It’s messing with my head and I know I would be so much better if I knew what was happening with that. 

I know now it’s messing with my brain lots. By the time I was driving to my friend today I was composing an angry suicide note to my kids as to why they should accept my choice. I suddenly realised and freaked out and went WTF in my head. I struggled to be with her because I wanted to yell at her that I didn’t want to be here but I kept composed and got through ok. Then came home and collapsed. I’m fine now. It’s passed but it just shows how quickly I fly off. 

Long story long long I don’t know if the timing is good. My head is still filled with huge anxiety over new psych and therapy. 

[CheerBear]

I can totally understand why it's such a stressful time @Teej, with all these changes and all that uncertainty. I also get the flying off really quickly thing. Zero to a million in a flash is one of my hardest battles.

You did really well today to pick up on the struggle, to get through it and to find your way to more safe space (head space maybe). Truly. It's a huge and exhausting fight.

I don't know what you should do and I know you're not asking me either, but I do want to remind you (gently) that there's probably a reason you've been waiting for this and my guess is that it's because you believe it might help. I don't know if it's possible for you to call a stop on everything else as much as you can, and take some time out and away from all the stuff that goes on, but if there's any chance you can and it might help, it could be worth it.

[Teej]

Thanks @CheerBear. I think you just helped me realise that the messy talking in tongues thing is really unhelpful just now and this has potential to be really helpful. I know that they won’t get it but they don’t have too (the messy thing people). Oh the language we create here 😆

Ill ring cmh tomorrow to see what they say. I have psych app on Wednesday. I’m hoping I’ll get a better feel by then.  

Thank you so much. I’ll let you go and unwind and hopefully have lovely dreams 💓😜😘

cheers 💜🤗

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @CheerBear @Mazarita @Teej @Faith-and-Hope @Teej

We all have our special friends. @Appleblossom is someone who well I really feel good when I see her around...... 

@Mazarita well, that @Mazarita in a cheeky way.....she and me just mosied along......then she gave me a present of a beautiful video....how unexpected......just when I was going through something shakey..........thank you but can't find it :0) 

I feel this with everyone here: I only chose the two here because known them the longest.....but I always have in my head, our click into friendship.

@Mazarita I like what @Faith-and-Hope writes .... I'de not answer the phone at 5am. 

[CheerBear]

Big huge 💗 @Teej I know you'll make the right choice for you even though it's really hard right now. No-one but you really needs to get it (even though it would be so much easier if everyone got it all the time!). Will be thinking of you as always, interested in hearing how you get on.

I have a really big craving for KFC bun and mayo and lettuce - what the heck! I think that may be a med talking which means I may be out like a light in about 3 seconds from now. So nice to catch up with you tonight.

Waving hi and bye for now @PeppiPatty. Hope you're well ☺