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Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, might be worth mentioning to Margot and/or Lauz. They seem to be controlling what threads are started for these kinds of problems. Smiley Wink

Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am going through the process of changing the email (account) I use for the forum to something other than gmail for now @Mazarita. I don't know whether that may fix some of the issues I've been having but it would be interesting to find out.

How are you going this morning?

Re: A long rave

Well now, I have a long rave in me.

About 5am this morning the landline phone rang once and then stopped. When I got up later this morning and pressed star 10 hash to find out who had called, it was the phone number of the possible new friend I've been trying to meet up with for a few weeks. She also rang yesterday, and three times last week, just to 'see how I was'.

That is too many times for a new friend, I think, especially when I hadn't already returned her calls.

In the phone calls she has told me strange and horrible things. She told me her daughter was the trigger of all her anxiety and recited horrible things her daughter said to her when aged six years old. She then said because she (the woman) is psychic, she 'knows these things'. This made me wonder if her daughter actually said those horrible things to her, or her mother just thought she was psychic and could read her mind.

She further told me she was going to disinherit her daughter and give all her money to her nephew, who (two weeks ago) gave her unconditional love for the first time in her life. The way she told it, I wondered if she had only just met this nephew for the first time a couple of weeks ago. She told me her daughter is suffering now from post-natal depression and suggested she has other troubles. In other words, it sounds like the daughter really might need the inheritence from her mother (whenever that happens). Whereas the nephew (someone she told me owns a law firm), likely does not. I wanted to tell her to leave her money to her daughter, but didn't, too presumptuous and don't know the full story.

In her earlier phone call last week, she told me a truly horrific story about something that happened to her, it made me sick to hear it. It came completely out of the blue of another otherwise light conversation.

This woman and I met at the local mental health centre about 2 years ago. I've seen her rarely over that time, but several times I've bumped into her on the street. We have always been friendly and given each other a hug when we see each other (a precedent that was set earlier on at the mental health centre, where people fairly regularly hug each other).

I feel unsettled about this woman who now knows my phone numbers. I think she may be psychotic with her bipolar at present. She has only recently come out of hospital and told me the community mental health team are coming to see her this week and may possibly make her an involuntary admission to the psych ward again.

She is in her mid-60s and has had many admissions and many changes of name. She seems to have no friends at all, and hasn't had for a long time.

I don't know whether to cut contact at this point. I usually start friendships slowly, in an easygoing way. The full-on-ness of this woman is bothering me, as I don't think I could handle her degree of disturbance in person (she's never been full on like that when we met before I gave her my phone numbers). She's also regularly calling various people 'rubbish'. 

She claims to be psychic and also said that psychics are not veangeful (she said this in relation to her daughter mentioned above). I have been close to a number of people who I believe are psychic to some degree, and sometimes think I may even be a little that way myself. I also know from experience that, for this kind of spiritual or mystical realm, it's important for it to be balanced and grounded in rationality as well. Otherwise it can go kind of wild and get outlandishly delusional. I am especially skeptical of psychics who say really bad things about people based on their 'psychic' perceptions (such as her daughter).

What do you all reckon? I don't want to hurt her, but she makes me feel a bit afraid to be honest. Will I be safe around this woman?

Re: A long rave

I think you trust your gut there @Mazarita. It definitely sounds like you have the insight and experience to know what's right for you at the moment and maybe this friendship is not right for you right now? It doesnt mean it won't ever be but perhaps it's best to wait a little while, until potential new friend is in a more settled place.

I met a few people at the break place, some I really hope to continue friendships beyond there, but there were a couple who are currently in a place that's more intense than what I feel is right for me at the moment in terms of friendship. I expect there may be people who'd feel the same about friendship with me also.

I can see the dilemma though and how your kindness makes you care about trying not to hurt her. That you mentioned feeling a bit afraid is a bit of an alarm maybe though.

Hugs. Tricky ❤

Re: A long rave

Red flags all over the place @Mazarita.  She seems to have no 'filter' - whether it's psychosis or just her personality I'd be avoiding any further contact.  You don't need that level of drama in your life, let alone 5am phone calls.  Glad you talked about it here.  Hope you don't mind me being so blunt.  Being psychic is one thing, bombarding someone is another thing all together.  Caution my friend.

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear and @eth. I think you are right about perhaps waiting at least until she is a bit more settled. Didn't mention that she regularly tells me she loves me, even though we hardly know each other. She said that on pretty much the first day we met also. I like spreading the love around but I also don't want to invite a potential stalker into my life (she doesn't have the address of my place at present, though she's only about 10 minutes walk from my door). I guess I wanted to write the rave mainly to discover what my true 'gut instinct' is about it all. You are right that I have kind feelings towards her, even if she is someone who may cause trouble and complication in my life. But, also, I want to protect myself as I am very sensitive and easily rattled by people. I don't think I'll ring her back for now. Thanks for helping me clarify. 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth@Mazarita@CheerBear.

It would have been quite unusual to recieve those emails out of the blue. I've notified our tech team who are looking into it now. I'll keep you update on the outcome and just to keep the conversation all in one space, I'll respond over here.

Hopefully I have some solutions for your soon ☀️

Re: A long rave

Thanks for replying and looking into it @Former-Member 😊

It sounds like you did know that gut feeling already @Mazarita. I find it does really help sometimes to write it out, drop it off here (or anywhere) and then step back and see it.

I hope person gets whatever support they may need at the moment from the right people to provide it. Good on you for looking out for you ❤

Re: A long rave

Time for me to sign out @Mazarita @CheerBear . Having a pow wow with sil in 15 minutes and leaving for the meeting in less than an hour.  Hope this morning goes well for all here. And thanks for all the good wishes everyone.

Everything is feeling quite surreal.