Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
02-12-2024 03:58 PM
02-12-2024 03:58 PM
Hi
Back again. This time wanting some advice as to how I can rebuild my confidence due to put downs.
Quick backstory: I'm a vegan and animal lover.
Went away for a couple of days on holidays and left the next door neighbour to look after my ducks and a newborn duckling.
When I arrived back home, the neighbour let me know that the duckling didn't survive due to there having been heavy rain.
My partner got metaphorically into me and said that I'm a dumb c##t and that I'm not an animal lover, I'm an animal murderer.
I actually hate my partner now.
02-12-2024 04:12 PM
02-12-2024 04:12 PM
Hi @Carebear
I'm so sorry to hear about your duckling. I've raised ducklings and chicks before and they're such fragile little things. It can be really hard when they don't make it but unfortunately it does happen. and it's not your fault.
I'm even more sorry to hear about the way your partner spoke to you. That sort of behaviour from your partner is concerning and sounds like verbal abuse. I ask this with genuine curiosity to understand your situation a little better - what is keeping you in this relationship?
02-12-2024 04:33 PM
02-12-2024 04:33 PM
02-12-2024 04:43 PM
02-12-2024 04:43 PM
@Carebear do you feel safe in the relationship - both emotionally and physically?
02-12-2024 05:01 PM
02-12-2024 05:01 PM
02-12-2024 05:42 PM
02-12-2024 05:42 PM
Is taking a bit of space an option, at least while you're feeling unsafe @Carebear?
Perhaps spending a night with a friend or family member?
If you're feeling like you'd like to reach out and talk to someone and get some more immediate support with what's going on, I'd encourage you to reach out to 1800RESPECT as well on 1800 737 732
02-12-2024 10:58 PM
02-12-2024 10:58 PM
Hi @Carebear
I think it's awesome you have ducks. We 'kind of' have ducks, in that we fed one about 4 years ago when it visited our pool and it just sort of adopted us. It waits by it's bowl and will come up to us when we appear. If i'm in the outside room and I leave the door open, it will come in looking for me to let me know the bowl is empty.
A couple of times a year we get ducklings for a day or two before they head off to where ever they had off to, following mum. They are fragile little things. We do our best for them, without interfering too much but they are fragile and do get separated from their mum so easily. It's probable why each lot is about 8-12 ducklings, because they dont all make it.
About your confidence, i'm not sure you need to rebuild it, but to try and not let abusive behaviour affect it. In response to @Ru-bee, you said that you feel safe most of the time. I would say most, isn't enough... you deserve to feel safe in a relationship all the time. I'm not sure by 'most of the time' if you just mean all the time except for this recent outburst or behaviour like that isn't new.
I wouldn't try to tell you what to do, nor should I. But I would suggest that you do need to think about what is best for you... your happiness and your safety. This sort of behavior is not acceptable and you should at the very least place some boundaries that it's just not acceptable.
So don't feel like any of it is your fault, and don't tolerate anything that makes you feel unsafe. Be kind to yourself and we're here if as @Ru-bee also suggested reach out to any of those supports available to you if you feel it would help you.
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Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Our Mission
To be the voice of mental health carers to enable the best life possible.
Get In Touch With Us
We're here to support and promote the well-being of mental health carers and their families
Mental Health Carers Australia is the only national advocacy group solely concerned with the well-being and promotion of the needs of mental health carers.

Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Our Mission
To be the voice of mental health carers to enable the best life possible.
Get In Touch With Us
We're here to support and promote the well-being of mental health carers and their families
Mental Health Carers Australia is the only national advocacy group solely concerned with the well-being and promotion of the needs of mental health carers.