Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Hobbit]

Ha! I like it!

Me personally, I can say NO easliy enough - it's just the guilt that follows makes it hard to stick by what I said.

Hobbit.

[JT]

I remember talking to someone a few years ago when I snapped, he was actually my sons' case manager and he'd been trying to tell me I needed to toughen up and use some tough love on my son.  Tough love incidentally snapped both of us so I will not be going back there but that's a story for another time.  He said I needed to learn to say no.  My response was that if I was able to say no, I would have said it years ago and none of this would ever have happened.  I think learning to say no is the easier part of the equation and yes. the guilt is harder to come to terms with.  The way I see it now though is that if I say no to keep in line with my personal values then it is a guilt free, justified no.  

[Shaz51]

Hello @JT, @Hobbit @Alessandra1992, @PeppiPatty

Learning to say NO !!

sometimes it is hard xx

[PeppiPatty]

oh wow theres @Hobbit @JT and @Alessandra1992  how cool seeing them again.......

Hi @Shaz51

Sayingno is difficult but you gotta do it. @Hobbit talks about guilt..thats a thing you just have to get over I reckon........Talking about it is the best thing to do.......

[Shaz51]

Hi @PeppiPatty

Yes i agree , it took us a while to learn how to say No

at the beginning when we started being self employed because of hubby`s MI , we said Yes to any work at all , but not now , and it is sooo much better ,

[Appleblossom]

I am often overcommitted.  All that pushing of my own boundaries, working for self, squeezing more into each day.  Saying "no" was something I did not always feel was possible.  When I realised it was partly me taking things on, or me picking up the slack that others left, that I had to be careful with what I took on,  It is still very difficult for me to actually refuse a person face to face, or spell out expectations, but I think that is coming.  

I also am proud of the things I have worked for and achieved.  There are also issues such as context, it is not just as simple as saying "no".  

However i guess there are often obstacles and we need to be aware, of what we can do to get over them.

[Shaz51]

I agree @Appleblossom xx

I have achieved.so much because i have said yes through my life

I still say yes , while i say No for my hubby

[PeppiPatty]

Like this @Appleblossom

I have so much I want to share with you but I can't because Im so knackered this afternoon.....Can I write tomorrow okay ??

Sorry....PeppiPatty 

xx

[Appleblossom]

That is really interesting that you can see when saying "no" is needed for "hubby". @Shaz51  Hope you look after yourself too.

No Wallies.  No need to say sorry @PeppiPatty

[PeppiPatty]

How r u @Appleblossom ? Yawn........

Arlo stinnks but he can't have a bath because he just got his flea stuff........ need to wit for 3 dys........

Nighty Night