responsibilities and money

[sybill07]

ARGH!

As you may have gathered, we are not v financially solvent at the moment.

I am feeling quite furious. As you know - we haven't much money. So, I 'borrowed' 50 from the  rent, so we could afford some food to get us through to the next centrelink payment.

I talked to husband, and we went through the cupboards together and suggested a meal plan. Then I went to the woolworths website and worked out the cost of things and wrote it all down and said 'we can spend 40, and put 10 into the car for petrol'.

so today - he's spent all that 50 - 20 on the car, and 30 on ???? cigs i guess but he won't admit it.

So we had to borrow another 50 from mum and he's gone out with the list to buy things (ie mince meat for lasagne....) AND HE HASN'T BOUGHT ANY OF IT!!!

I'm askng the pysch if i just shouldn't trust him. Should i remove all access to money? Which would be so negative for him... Should I just allow 'play' money for him but do the main stuff myself?

Also - I'm so tired of having to be there for everything. And be with him for everything and be bright and positive when actually today i could just hit him. I'm just tired.

AND also - does anyone else have a partner on antipyschotic medication? I've noticed that recently his dreams have become v vivid (generally about being attacked or some such) and he's doing things like kicking (me) and falling out of hte bed to avoid bein ghead butted. Is this normal? I've mentioned it to the dr but I'm not enjoying being kicked. And quite frankly getting a bit concerned about my own safety.

Further - apparently I gave centrelink the wrong medical report so my carers allowance app has been cancelled. WHY don't they have numbers on their forms like immigration? It would make things a LOT easier.

Also - mygov website is a piece of total sh#te. Apalling lack of design! Case sensitive text - for the secret questions?? Who the heck approved that! Then you get locked out for 12 hours (or in my case 3 weeks) GAH!!

[Former-Member]

Hi @sybill07,

It sounds like you are having a tough time of it.

I am wondering if you are linked in with a Carer's program or organisation in your local area?

There are resources avaibale in most communities, to provide respite and support to carer's- To support them to continue supporting others.

I hope the forum's and other contributer's story's provide you with the fellowship you need to keep on going.

Regards,

Jumpin

[Appleblossom]

@sybill07

Yep .. Bottom line stuff ... love the person not the disease ... take control .. as in partnership ... you can def  justify responsibility for meal planning ... over cigs ... he might get his act together eventually .. but dont let it spiral too far in downward slide .. understand the anger .. sleep on the couch a bit ... or get him to .. I feel for your partner though ... but self protection is important.

Bottom line stuff ... jerked my exhusband out of psychotic delusions ... dont enable delusional behaviour ... food and shelter are essentials ... "hierarchy of needs" stuff.

I got mucked around last time I was at Centrelink ... just to get right carers forms ... still havent applied for it .. too much going on ... I think they are deliberately playing hard to get .. dont give out forms so people cant apply ... hmmmm .... staff apologised at the end ... I always drop the "I used to work there ... I know how hard it is line etc" ...  still I  am lucky I am much much more solvent ... but I was advised to apply for carers allowance ... as that way ... my son's issues wont bite into the equity I have in my house.  It has already .. but we are trying to contain situation.

[sybill07]

on a waiting list

it's a frustrating process but my family/friends are v good. i am just tired of all the responsibility on my shoulders.

[sybill07]

it's so v hard to know where the illness stops and the person begins i guess....

in my case anyway. he's mostly fine. except he's v vague and unmotivated etc.