depression/suicide attempts.

[pip]

My name is Lynda, I'm 'Pip' on the forums.  I'm 65, 66 in about 9 months.  I've had to struggle most of my life just to get to where I am today.  I suffered debilitating depression which has led to countless attempts to 'end'.  The last attempt 3 years ago was nearly successful.  I was married for 25 years, till late last year when I somehow found the courage to walk away.  I have 2 grown-up kids, 5 g'children, a wonderful new man in my life.  I was raped repeatedly as a child by an older brother.  There was only the two of us, mum favoured him totally.  My mother knew, but turned a blind eye.  My parents are both deceased, I don't miss either of them.  My dad was alcoholic/narcissistic, mum narc too, but not alcohol induced.  I have been married 3 times, the 2nd was a 'Charles, Di, Camilla' situation.  First hubby (father of my kids) committed suicide the year before Elvis died.  This 3rd marriage ended when hubby's parents verbally abused me whenever they felt like it, with his permission.  After the last verbal abuse stopped 3 years ago was when I attempted.  I have come full circle with a lot of help, guidance and then I met this man I'm now involved with.  We do not live together, but this could change.  He is somewhat younger, but totally understands and supports me emotionally.  He also suffered debilitating depression and attempted suicide many times.  Because of this, our understanding and committment is strong and we really talk.  Anyway I can help lead someone to the 'sunshine' as I was helped, I will.  I know what it feels like to be in the 'darkness'.  We all need sunshine.             

[Janna]

Hello and Welcome to the Forums.

It breaks my heart to hear of stories of ongoing hardship that have originated in childhood due to abuse and/or trauma.  I am an adult survivor of childhood trauma and abuse who somehow managed to get herself into a highly abusive marriage and have also met "the darkness". My brother was also the perpetrator of sexual abuse towards me.  He then committed suicide at age 21.  It is a story that is all too familiar.  What is so important in our journey is to be heard and for our experience to be validated.  I want you to know that I hear you and I understand and I think it is wonderful that you now want to impart your wisdom and insight onwards to help those less travelled than you.  As a person who has travelled through the canyons of darkness I know only too well how important it is to connect with another who can hold your emotional experience and validate it.  It is so important. It is the difference between sanity and insanity and so many other things that words can't describe.  It's so courageous of you to post this and show your vulnerability.  I'm so happy to hear that you are now in a place where you feel ready to share your experience and help heal other people.  Looking forward to having you on the forums and thank you for sharing your story.

Janna ❤️

[pip]

Thank you Janna. The man in my life now, was the one who helped restore the sunshine into my life. He helped me where other's had walked away.

[NikNik]

Hi @pip

Welcome 🙂

I have seen your around in the forums helping people and leading them to the sunshine (I love that metaphor by the way). You've been through so much, and it's wonderful that you want to give back and support others.

Looking forward to 'seeing' you around the forums 🙂

[Caz101]

Suggestions on how to support someone who has had lots of suicide attempts? I'm scared I'm going to lose her. She has only just told me about these attempts after the event. She's reluctant to get therapy and has a lot of family conflict at home so they are unsupportive. She was sexually assaulted last week and this has escalated things. She's not likely to contact a suicide help line. I'm overwhelmed from the stress of it all. 

[Janna]

Hi Caz101,

I'm really sorry to hear about the struggles that this person is having and the persistent fear of suicide.  Don't be afraid to ask her some direct questions in order to evaluate her risk.  Ask if she has a plan and how or when she would do it.  Get her to make a contract with you where she agrees to ring you before she acts and does anything.  If you are concerned that she is in a crisis and may not be able to keep herself safe, it may be a good idea to contact the local Acute Care Team attached to the relevant Area Mental Health Care Service for advice.  

All the best and remember to look after yourself during this time of high stress.

Janna ❤️

[Caz101]

Thanks. What do I do if she's ignoring me and not responding to messages? I'm concerned she's shutting me out as she does not want to be a burden to me. I love her so much and I'm so scared right now. 

[TideisTurning]

It's understandable to be scared and worried in a situation like this @Caz101- I feel like anyone would be. These resources from Beyond Blue about talking to someone you're concerned about and for those, like you, supporting someone you're worried about might help give you a few ideas along with these articles from the Suicide Callback Service.

If the concern starts to feel too overwhelming though, please don't hesitate to reach out for support from somewhere like the Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467), Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) or Sane's Help Centre if you'd just like to talk to someone non-urgently one to one and of course, you're more than welcome to keep reaching out here on the Forums for support as needed. Hope this helps & wishing you strength as you navigate this rough road.