Teen self harm and suicidal

[Relly02]

Hello,

My teen has for the last 12 months been on a very tough journey. A little back story of the last 12 months is we lost my mother and father only 5 weeks apart mid last year. I was a young mum so my parents spent a lot of time helping to take care of her. A couple of weeks after losing her grandparents she lost a friend to suicide and her great grandmother. Towards the end of last year she decided to stop playing sport which was a shock to all of us as she had played and lived it for the last 5 years and had only just came back from a college tour of the USA.  Not long after returning from that trip she spoke to us about her gender identity. She is currently seeing a gender clinic and looking to start therepy. She has been diagnosed with gender Dysphoria. Early this year her first GF broke up with her and that’s when I noticed the self harming increase. We’ve had endless emergency visits after self harming. We have also had 2 suicide attempts in the last 2 months and this week I have found out we are dealing with restrictive eating. Her thoughts are constantly negative and she thinks she is a burden on her family and friends. We remind her every day that she is loved and her entire family support her. This week I had a breakdown and could not stop crying, could not eat and could not turn off the constant thoughts of my beautiful child going through so much pain and suffering. She currently sees a psychologist with CYMHS and has had 2 inpatient stays due to safety. She sees a psychiatrist, music therapist and her usual treating team. This week she has dropped out of school. It all became to much due to the workload missed from hospital admissions and her school reducing her timetable. I’m at a complete lost as what we can do to support her more. I’m currently looking at a private admission into an emotional unit for her. Somewhere that can give her the skills to better cope with the stressors of life. It would give us, her family a rest as we are on high alert 24/7 and it’s taking its toll on all of us. Has anyone been through anything similar? How did you cope and manage? Thank you for reading. 

[Former-Member]

hi @Relly02 

Welcome to the SANE forum.   It is great to see your post! Congratulations for reaching out for support and for having the courage to post your story about the very tough journey you are on in supporting your child.  I am sure the forum members will be able to offer you suport, information and connection.

If you need any help with the forum feel free to reach out to the moderators.  The guidelines are also a good source of what to do.

Again well done 

Whitehawk

[Sally98]

I am so sorry to read about how hard things are for you right now.  We recently found out our son was self harming after a suicide attempt landed him in hospital, and it is by far the hardest thing we have faced as parents.  You have to deal with strong emotions of fear and grief while remaining a carer, and I too go into a downward spiral and spend days close to tears.  It is particularly hard as you lost your parents last year; I also lost my father last year but do still have a supportive mother I can turn to.  I don’t have any answers, and we are also exploring all the support options.  I am starting to realise what a long journey this will be, and try not to analyse how things are going and whether they are improving; they don’t seem to improve but do change a bit.  The main thing helping me at the moment is meditation, which I haven’t really been into before.  I am using the HeadSpace App, sometimes just for a 3 minute meditation during the day, and it does seem to help a bit in grounding myself and taking a breath.  It sounds like you are already doing everything to support and love your daughter; I hope you can find a way to care for yourself too, even if just something tiny each day.  It is really really hard and I feel for you.

[Reece]

Hey lovely, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment. I to have a teen with mental health issues, self harm & suicidality. I hear you so loudly especially after our latest breakdown. I'm a single working mum to 3 gorgeous girls. her latest breakdown was 2 weeks ago & by far the worst. I was unable to sleep at all for fear she would try take her life or find a way to self harm. I then had to function during the day. A CAMHS team that weren't interested in giving her the admission & urgent review she desperately needed left me com[lately stranded - I never imagined I would have to beg for my daughters life to be saved, I have never felt so alone or exhausted mentally & physically. I don't think I coped extremely well (although a lot of time was taken up travelling trying to find her help), I just things minute by minute then hour by hour. I didn't look too far ahead just providing the support she needed at the time not that she always wanted it - I was the worlds worst cos I wouldn't let her die. Deep breaths, lean on those around you & all of us here.

[gherkin]

Sorry this is so tough. Yes similiar journey with a son that has been going on 2 years now. We are in a marathon

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @gherkin , @Relly02 , @Reece , @Sally98 

please continue to talk and

sharing is caring , remember you are not alone my friends xoxo

[Shaz51]

sending you hugs @Nouche 

Remember to put a @ in front of members names so they can receive your message and reply

@Relly02, @gherkin , @Reece , @Sally98 

[Relly02]

@gherkin  yes it’s very tough. I wish you the best 

[Relly02]

@Reece  thank you for your reply. Yes it is a long journey. I made contact with my MIL who has spent some time with us in the home. It’s been very helpful and has me feeling almost human again. X 

[Shaz51]

hello @Relly02