Struggling

[M221067]

It’s 3 weeks now since my daughter tried to end her life. She moved back home as she was 2 hours away with almost no support network. 

I’ve been along with her to an initial mental health assessment and she sees a psych and a counsellor next week. She appears to be coping ok and at times she appears almost happy. Tonight she’s had a bit of a set back, reality has set in I think and I bore the brunt of her frustration (verbally). I understand she’s suffering and I’d do anything in my power to take that suffering away but I can’t and I don’t deserve to be spoken to like I’m something she stepped in on the side walk. I don’t know how to do this carer role and if I’m honest I am so resentful that now, when I should finally be able to enjoy life a little, I feel hostage to this situation. I cannot foresee a time when life will ever be ‘normal’ again.  And yes I feel very guilty for feeling that way. 

[Shaz51]

ohhh welcome to he forum @M221067 

sending you hugs

how are you and your daughter today

so glad you have reachout here , we have lots of members , remember you are not alone my friend

@Ali11, @Former-Member , @Determined , @Smc 

[Former-Member]

The carer role is often thrust upon us @M221067  and there is often grief that goes with it. It is certainly not what we envision for ourselves (or indeed for our loved ones).   When we are unwell, none of us are at our best and in early days with our loved ones we may need to cut them a little slack as they too adjust to living with their acute unwellness, in saying that, I do understand the need for respect/boundaries and illness is no excuse for being unkind.  

I will tag you in a thread where others care for their adult children - you may find it helpful chatting with others in a similar situation to yourself.

[Ali11]

We're glad to hear that your daughter is home @M221067, please know that resentment and then guilt are normal feelings experienced by carers and it's really important that you have your own support network in place to be able to check in with. Is there someone that you're able to chat to? 

[M221067]

Thank you. Today has been long after very little sleep but feel much calmer today. Thank you for the support

[M221067]

Thank you very much. Wise words

[M221067]

Thank you for the support. I don’t have anyone but I’ve decided to access a counselling service through my employer. Think it’ll benefit us both if I get some outside help tok

[Ali11]

That's great that you are able to access services through your employer @M221067, we hope you have a great night. 

[Shaz51]

we are here for you @M221067 

keep in touch my friend xxxxx

[M221067]

Thank you for all the words of support. We have had a good couple of days..which I am learning to cherish🤦🏻‍♀️ 

I hope everyone has some peace and calm x