Partner with BPD

[Chook_]

It really has been! I feel so much better knowing I’m not alone and hearing others advice/ stories.

Extremely grateful for this page!

[tyme]

Please feel free to tag me into your posts @Chook_ . Like this @tyme . I'd love to hear how things are going for you and I'm sure others reading will benefit too!

[Bee36]

Well good luck, I hope you are able to come across some health professionals that are actually helpful for you both, he is a very lucky man by the sounds of it to have you in his corner @Chook_

[Bee36]

Does sound very good thanks for sharing I should probably sign myself up for this or something similar @Chook_

[Bee36]

Thank you @tyme soldiering on....

[Chook_]

@tyme 

A little update on my end.. it’s been a busy busy couple of weeks as I returned back to work, there was a lot of concern going back to work and leaving my partner but he has been okay.. (until today)

seems today he has not had a great day and turned back to medicinal cannabis to cope, I get torn between talking to him about it but then I know he just feels ashamed and guilty so it’s better to just not say anything/hope that it’s just a little slip up and not starting back up abusing it - because it DEFINITELY does not help with the depression and suicidal thoughts. 

one thing I am really struggling with is literally how alone I feel in supporting my partner - everything I read or am told is how important our tribe is, yet he isn’t surrounded by anyone that wants to learn or try to understand and support him, family members just constantly triggering and not even thinking before they speak or just people completely unable to even be there to listen to him. I really dont understand… if someone means so much to you how can you not even be there for them when they are down?

On a more positive side I have just completed reading another very helpful book- stop walking on eggshells by Paul T Mason and Randi Kreger…. It has been amazing I definitely recommend to anyone helping a partner/friend/family member with bpd. I’m thinking of starting a book review / club thread to discuss some of the chapters in the book. 

[Bee36]

Hey @Chook_ sucks that you are seemingly in the same place you were , have u tried or are u near near any mental health hubs that can assess and make some recommendations for him....I haven't been myself but my husbands psychiatrist suggested we could go to one of those....it is quite frustrating when people don't begin to even try to understand a person's disorder/condition etc...its quite ignorant, and I guess maybe for some people it's in the too hard basket....haven't read those books yet but I am very keen too...keep doing what ur doing but don't wear urself out!

[Chook_]

@Bee36 my family/carer counsellor session was very helpful but for anything related to him has not been. He has tried group DBT and it wasn’t a good fit, a MH retreat which was terrible as they also acted like they understood but didn’t and didn’t have the appropriate support there so left worse than started.
I feel like it’s a bit of a rollercoaster, smooth times then a bit of a wild ride. Thankyou for the concern and support. I definitely recommend those books- they are also on audible if you prefer listening to books.

[tyme]

I found ACT very helpful for BPD @Chook_ . If you read The Happiness Trap, it just makes so much sense for the person.

Walking on Eggshells is helpful so that people feel less alone in their struggles. I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it helpful. 

One of my dreams was always to write a book to help through caring for people with BPD, or people going through BPD... I just never got around to it 🙂

[Chook_]

@tyme I will definitely add that to my list of books to read. Thanks