My son has Paranoid Schizophrenia with Depression & Angry Violent outbursts HELP PLEASE

[PurpleKathy]

I NEED HELP please? My son has paranoid schizophrenia, he also suffers from depression and violent angry outbursts when provoked.  He was prescribed medication some time ago by a psychologist but he refuses to take the medication as it makes him tired and he isn't able to  do his gaming when tired.  He also feels that there is nothing in the pills but dirt, dust and flour, that we aren't able to make anything which can help peoples brains.  He also has Aspergers, low functioning.  This year we managed to encourage our son and his girlfriend and a mate to moveout to a house in the next street. Problem is when he has an arguement with his girl which is usually loud screeming between the two, all of the neighbours come out with their phones and stand and watch.  This makes him so angry and paranoid.  "Do they want to see me go off?" he said. "I'll go off alright, I harm all of em, you watch, if they want a scene, I'll give em one."  I don't know what to do? Should my husband visit all of the people who are so ignorant and rude as to stand outside and watch while my son and his girl have an arguement, to point out how they are putting their lives at risk, and our son's life? He's becoming more and more depressed, he is concerned about how the house looks, how he is not about to keep it clean, and how people think he is a kid.  He is 22 years old. Can anyone give advice on what we might be able to do please to help him? The town is small with around 250 people in the town and apparently the only good neighbours live next to us in the next street. 

[greenpea]

@PurpleKathy  Hi PurpleKathy and welcome to the forum. I have schizoaffective disorder and my son2 has a variety of mental health issues including schizophrenia. I personally have been on the brunt of insensitive people with phones (unfortunately there is nothing you can do about that people are just ignorant). People just don't understand mental health issues like schizophrenia unless it happens to them and that is a fact. My previous psychiatrist said to me once that people will not understand what I have done in the past when I was sick unfortunately. I rise above the ignorance these days and show the haters love in return it gives me peace.

My son2 also has Autism. He lives at home with us and can have anger issues which have drawn attention to himself in the public. There is nothing to be done about that either unfortunately unless he wears a huge t shirt with 'I have autism leave me alone' written on it. 

Can you organize a gardener to come in and help him clean up the yard once a month. The same with the house is there a cleaner that could come in once a month and vacuum and do some light dusting with him to show him how to keep the place tidy.

As for medication that is a tough one as we all know he should be taking it..... does he have a psychiatrist? what about a trusted gp that he feels comfortable with? I am lucky with my son2 as he knows to take his otherwise he will revert into a hostile entity and have to go back to hospital. Unfortunately at age 22 you cannot force him it has to come from himself unless he has a depot order (which no one wants for him).

I would say to him that part of him wanting to be treated like an adult is to take his medications. That he will feel better for them and not run the risk of hospital admissions etc. See how that goes if you have tried that already. Otherwise it is really up to him as he is an adult .... 

I hope this helps a bit. It is hard I know but in many ways your son is doing well he has a girlfriend, is living in his own house etc. keep thinking of the positives even when you feel that you are drowning in the negatives. Love greenpea xxx

[Former-Member]

Hey there @PurpleKathy  It can definitely be such a strain in smaller communities supporting a loved one with complex mental illness. There definitely are steps forward so do not give up hope. Do you feel your neighbours would be open to hearing your husband out? I guess it depends whether you trust them or not, or whether it may fuel the fire? I echo @greenpea I think focusing on your Son's needs first, and helping him to change his behaviour, then will have a positive knock on effect to the external factors. Just curious as to whether you have gotten in touch with the Carer's Australia helpline? They may have some really solid supports for you and your husband, and in addition the SANE Help Centre (1800 187 263) is staffed until 10pm and they have a lot of insight into Paranoid Schizophrenia. You're not alone

[Ali11]

Hey @PurpleKathy, we're sorry to hear about the situation with the community. On the flip side, it sounds like you've done a great job with your son being able to be independent and the advice that @Former-Member and @greenpea give is great. Have you been able to ask your son if there's a medical professional that he is comfortable with?

[PurpleKathy]

I would like to thank you for responding to my plight.  Even just having someone else say that they have or are dealing with the same issues, sometimes makes it a little easier to bere. I am schizoaffective so I also deal with my own issues, but I do worry terribly regarding my son.  I have taken your advice and decided on employing a handyman who is sensitive to people with mental health issues, to help him clean up his place and get through this terrible time in his life.  Thank you again for your support, it's been wonderful. Thank you. HUGS. 🙂

[greenpea]

@PurpleKathy  🙂

[Shaz51]

@PurpleKathy, how are you going , hope you are ok

love to hear from you

@Ali11 

[Ali11]

Seconded @Shaz51, how are you doing @PurpleKathy? How did you go with the handyman for your son's place?

[PurpleKathy]

I have arranged for a handyman who also has a son with Aspergers, so he has some idea of some of the things to expect. I have explained to my son that this is a step forward. While there was initial resistance he is coming to terms with the concept, handyman arrives on Friday. Here's hoping. 🙂 Thanks for asking and for support.

[Shaz51]

fingers crossed @PurpleKathy  and sending hugs for this week

and how are you my friend xx