If a parent has an undiagnosed mental illness, what do you do?

[Lola00]

My mother has had behaviours that are not normal all her life but has never taken any responsibility for them. 
Her traits resemble that of histrionic personality disorder.

Does anyone you know have this illness and if so what are their symptoms? 
My mother will never get her help so that is not an option. It’s more about me learning to deal with her behaviours which are compulsive lying, loud and obnoxious, verbally abusive, unstable emotions and unable to control her emotions, lashes out verbally even if she’s in public. There’s more but these are the main ones. It’s making it very difficult to be around her in family setting as everything sets her off. Would it be a good idea for me to have a counselling session for myself to learn how to deal with her irrational and unstable behaviours? 
Thanks!

[maddison]

Hi @Lola00 

Welcome to the forums🙂 

Thankyou for taking time to reach out and share part of your story.

I believe I am in similar situation to you. It can be a difficult path to navigate when it comes to our parents. In general, relationships with parents can be complex enough. It can almost become unmanageable when mental illness is involved. Similarly to you, my parent will never take responsibility or admit any type of mental illness, let alone seek treatment.

I think your idea of seeking counseling for yourself is great idea. It is proactive, & may assist in organising your own thoughts. It may provide objectivity, something I have personally found challenging. There

seems to be so much guilt associated with parent & child relationships where mental illness is a factor, in my

experience.

There is also the notion that, we cannot change others behaviour, however we can work towards changing our own. Counseling may be of help by adding perspective on this.

Thankyou again for reaching out. Perhaps some other members may also be able to assist you. @tyme  as I unsure how to provide links to some great articles on setting boundaries that have helped me.

If you would like to respond to me or anyone else, remember to type @ before their username, & they will get notification😊

Kind regards