Hi I am new and need advice for mum

[Tiolinda1]

Hi everyone,

i sm a 45 year old lady, working, married with two little girls.  We are in Melbourne.

what brings me here is that my father died in September at the age of 84.  He had a lot of illnesses, in particular a weak heart after several heart attacks.  

The way he passed away was quite unfortunate and traumatic in particular to my mother.  He had a heart attack in the bathroom, he collapsed and fell through the plaster wall, mum rushed in to und him like that including a small injury to his head and blood.  

Over the last couple of months, mum has pushed people away, been agitated, aggressive, angry when people try to tell her something or assist her.   It is a complete change to her usual nature.

I believe she has PTSD from the experience.  She refuses counseling.  

She needs hell, I am really worried about her.  Can anyone here suggest what I can do? 

Many thanks.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Tiolinda1 and welcome to the forums. 

I know my mother (she is 88) appears to believe that acknowledging grief along with the stresses of traumatic experiences was seen as weakness.   A stiff upper lip is the order of the day. 

There are so many emotions and often it is not recognised how much older couples do for each other and often losing a long term partner can mean having to do things one has never needed to previously and along with the aging process ... yikes.

Your Mum may well be feeling that whilst she may be widowed that she is not helpless.

As she got older my mum resisted practical help for a long time which she now appreciates. I doubt she would ever go to a therapist.

There are a few others who care for their aging mums and I will tag you in a discussion thread there. I don't know how much activity and I think that some of the mothers may have passed.

[Former-Member]

Hey there @Tiolinda1 just wondering how you've been travelling since posting? Keep us updated