Feeling helpless

[Jo7]

Hi everyone,

I was really happy to find this forum this evening. My siblings and I don’t know where to turn or what support is available for our mother. My mother is being cared for by her sister however the environment is toxic and I believe my mum has a trauma bond that means she is not willing or able to leave her. My mum has suffered physical and emotional abuse as a child and has had eating disorders, severe anxiety, BPD has severe codependency and now is suffering from episodes of psychosis. Since 2019 after divorcing my dad she has drastically deteriorated - she cant look after herself. She hasn’t been out in public in over four years in fear of seeing someone she knows. She is screaming out constantly and can’t control it and admits she is scaring herself. She won’t allow me to speak with her psychiatrist or doctor and her sister controls everything. We don’t know what to do. There are a lot of factors weighing in on this including wider generational trauma and mental health issues. She has been in multiple mental

health facilities however she will not participate and the last place said they couldn’t help her. 
Can anyone help us with options for assisted living that would mean she is not in that environment and also any insight into the screaming episodes? 
thank you 

[tyme]

I'm so sorry this is happening @Jo7 .

I hear you are trying to support your mother as much as you can.

Does she have NDIS?

[Jo7]

Thank you.

She doesn’t have NDIS. Are there additional services available here? 

[tyme]

HI @Jo7 ,

We do have a number of services which may be of interest.

Drop-in Phone line to speak to a counsellor 

1800 187 263 (Mon-Fr 10am-10pm AEDT)

SANE's guided service

https://www.sane.org/referral

With the above services, I'm also encouraging you to access if you feel you need to. They are free of charge. It is so important to have supports for yourself while going through this challenging time.

Does your mother work? I'm wondering whether she has enough documentation to apply for NDIS so that at least she can look at getting a social worker, support worker, therapy etc.

In terms of assisted living, it depends on which area you live in. In Melbourne, we have CCUs (Community Care Units) where people stay as part of their recovery.

I hope you will be able to find something soon. Please remember your own self-care too.

[David_888]

@Jo7 

The screaming is because of the inherently against nature of the subconscious.

The sub, the con, the suss.

Comes from electricity against our head. Both from manmade and also nature. 

Most people just live under a shadow of it, but others part the shadow.

Those with a fighting spirit do it more. 

--

It's the same subconsuss that you and I have that she is screaming at. 

[David_888]

@Jo7 

Help her part the shadow. 

We do it too. 

Don't tell her to live under it.

[Dilly27]

@David_888 

I am not entirely understanding what you mean. Can you please direct me to research or articles explaining this?

[David_888]

@Dilly27 

The subconsuss is your doubts that you resign to. 

Personal experience. 

[light5]

Hi @Jo7 ,

I just joined and saw your post and it is almost exactly what I am going through atm. Have you found any helpful resources or tips to help your mum?