Daughter won't communicate, family won't intervene

[duchess]

Ill open by saying it's quite tricky to work out where and how to post on these forums, not sure if anyone else has the issue. I can't find the list of topics. So starting here. 

My 30 to daughter attempted suicide over 3 months ago, in front of me on railway tracks. You can imagine how shocking it was. She's in a private hospital now , after public hospital, a unit and then an airbnb while she waited for private cover to start. . Since that terrible day, I've been excluded from all information . Where she was staying before now, what meds, what diagnosis. Nothing. All her other immediate family have good contact.  What has been the hardest thing to bear is that they won't give me any information. Daughter and I have had a couple of texts, she says she loves me but isn't ready. Should I contact the hospital or is it pointless.  I can't even tell my sister, though her daughter is fully involved with mine since day 1. I'm so angry and hurt. Should I tell them how devestated I am? I feel utterly betrayed. 

[Former-Member]

@duchess 

It is devastating when someone close to us attempts. 

Sane have a new specific resource for Carers of loved ones who have attempted which has some excellent information, here is the link:

https://www.sane.org/you-are-not-alone

Have you got some professional support in place for yourself? Even though there were no communication issues between my husband and I (and I cannot understand how painful this would be), I needed psychological help to seems through what as a very dark period.

If you need someone to speak to immediately,  the Suicide Callback line or the Sane Help Centre might be helpful,  sadly these resources are heavily used and it is sometimes hard to get through to them.

Keep talking here, there are people who understand.

[duchess]

Thank you Darcy,  those resources are good but not for me as I'm not a carer, I am not allowed any role at all. It's so terribly cruel. I thank you for your kind words, very touching indeed.  Yes I've tried a few support services and found a good counsellor ,  though I'm now going interstate and away from my daughter and the entire family. Sadly that's probably a good thing. 

I don't understand why all my daughter's health professionals don't encourage her to make contact with me.  It seems ages in a nice hotel.where they do lots of group work but not a whole lot more.  I believe she comes and goes as she pleases, which scares me as I believe she is very much at risk of another attempt. 

[Bunniekins]

@duchess  Hey duchess and welcome to the forums. My son2 used to jump in front of cars while he was severely ill with his schizophrenia. I know the feeling of sadness, hopelessness and for me embarrassment all merged into one. When son2 was in hospital over the 6 years that he was out of control he had a very good psychiatrist who kept me in the loop and helped me with understanding the illness etc. Only thing is my son was 16 to begin with so considered still a child so we had more rights. By the time he was 18 the hospital and police knew us very well and helped us so much.  I will be here on and off through out the day if you want to talk. Just put a @ in front of my name and that will notify me of your post. Remember to take care of you. Love greenpea

[Fiona2]

I feel the same with my daughter.  Exclude to. I am going through the same and though I can't help yet just saying your not alone. I investigate every day how I can help my daughter. If I find someone who will actually help me, I will tell you but f or today remember your not alone and doing a great job as a mum x