Checking In: Let us know how you're doing

[Eagle]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope 🙂

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Eagle .....

Was that coffee for you too ?

[Eagle]

Sorry @Faith-and-Hope I thought you responded to me - but it was actually @NikNik
I'll take a coffee though - seems like I need it!

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Eagle

Milk or sugar with that ?

I'm on a black chai tea this morning ...

[Shaz51]

Welcome Back @NikNik 

I have missed your input

which part of N.Z did you work ?

we are ok , still lots of ups and downs , depending on what happens during the day and the  week

we have cut back again on our workload which seems to be helping , but then he fels guilty when he says No to work

[Shaz51]

Hello @NikNik

thank you for asking , We are getting there , trying to get the right balance is the answer

and reminding myself to look after myself too as @CherryBomb has said

so everyday is different , so we are taking one day at a time

[NikNik]

Hi everyone,

This morning I was looking around the Forums to see if I could find others in similar circumstances to Louise (who posted about not knowing whether he should be driving or not) and stumbled across a few members who posted about their children. So I thought it would be worth checking in with them - @MrRightEnough , @Rebecca , @Simma,  @Skylark , @007mum how are you all travelling? 

[NikNik]

Hi there,

I thought this week we could check in with members who shared some of the difficult times they were having with their brothers. 

@Allinthehead - how is your brother going compromising?

@Treebranch - How are things going with you and living so close to your brother? It must be really tough to set boundaries and take care of yourself.

@Moses - how is your brother travelling. Has his delusions subsided?

@Bluebird15 I was just reading your recent post about your brother. I was particularly interested about your point on 'co-dependency'. It made me think of this discussion on co-dependency, which might be worth checking out.

I hope you're all travelling okay. Please jump in and update us and let us know if we can be of any assistance. 

[Treebranch]

Good heavens, thank you, didn't realise a 'hello' could go such a long distance. And thanks for asking, it's less on my mind because my current strategy with him is to remove contact, text messages or emails. This hurts him but my only other alternative is the 'saviour' role, which is cheerful and benevolent and always accepting. And always available. And this all wearies me. I know he's not well. What do I give? What am I not understanding?
I do know that I can live better with less obsession about him and less time near him. Not easy either way. Very complex with many shards coming off this smashed vase.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @Treebranch .... loud and clear ❣

Something I struggled with was the understanding that I had to disengage emotionally.  How do you do that with a husband and still remain married .... ?  I am having to see how far this piece of elastic can stretch in the hope he surfaces into the Contemplation stage, or enters a medical crisis, ahead of a breakdown in all our relationships.  In the wake of a crisis there will be an understanding that we disengaged for the sake of survival, not by choice.

Take care of you 💗💕