At wits end everything we try fails

[AWEAgain]

My daughter in law in her early 40’s has returned to her very alarming ways. As a little background she was a recovering alcoholic and had been for 7 years after spending 6 months at a WHOS rehabilitation centre. She had a child shortly after and was a really good mum and support for her son. About 12 months ago she started “social drinking” against all advice. At the beginning of this year the father refused to return the child after a weekend access and we spent 4 months in and out of court to get him back, which we did. Unknown to us, during this period she was drinking in the background and in the last 2 weeks my wife has moved in to her house to protect our grandchild. The daughter in law has been diagnosed with PTSD, but refuses to get help instead drinks 4 to 5, 750 ml bottles of Vodka in short sessions a week. We have tried talking, she has been hospitalised but just checks out. My wife and I are trying and my wife cops verbal abuse and so I worry about her too, she is showing signs cracking up as well. I am not sure where to go from here as there are so many overwhelming issues to deal with any advice would be appreciated

[Deebee]

Unfortunately until your daughter in-law decides to stop drinking and get help, there is nothing else you can do for her. As the old saying goes..... You can guide a person towards recovery but you can't make them participate. It has to be their decision.

Your first priority is to yourselves and your grandson. Where is the dad in all this ?

You need to seek legal help to remove the child. Her behaviour is impacting on his well being. Is she abusive or neglecting towards the child ? 

Removing him is your first priority

Seek legal help and give him the help he needs. He is a child , she is an adult.

Children deserve to have a stable home.

Prioritise . One day at a time.

I hope this helps. 

Alcoholism is no different from drug addiction.would you leave him with a drug addict?

[AWEAgain]

Thanks for your response and you are 100% correct, I am prioritising things that I cant fix, her drinking problem  and I need to start focusing on things I can removing him from danger. Thanks again sometimes you just need to hear it from different people

[HomerSutton]

Hi .I'm new to this .I have a 43 year old son who has drug and alcohol issues...he was found blue and unresponsive once ..he has a great partner and now a gorgeous little girl but he's started doing drugs and drinking ..lying ..I think she's had enough..I'm worried about what will happen to him if he's suddenly on his own

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @HomerSutton 

Welcome! We are happy to have you here. 

What you have been through with your son sounds incredibly traumatic and I can only imagine the concerns you must have for him.

While I don't have personal experience in this domain, I am hoping others may be able to chip in with their own experiences. 

If you are seeking more information, there are some good services out there:

• Australian Drug and Alcohol Foundation (ADF): DRUG INFO & ADVICE LINE:1300 85 85 84
• National Alcohol and Other Drugs Hotline: 1800 250 015 (available 24/7). This service is free and offers confidential advice about alcohol and other drugs, offers support, information, counselling and referral to services. 
• Family Drug Support (FDS): 1300 368 186 (available 24/7). This service provides support and information to families, friends and carers of people who have problematic alcohol and other drug use across Australia.

Take good care of yourself, I hope this can be a supportive space for you 🙂