Topic Tuesday // Talking to your parents about your mental health // Tues. 5 June 7pm AEST

[BlueBay]

@NikNik

I think I may stay away from this thread. My memories are triggering me. I'm sorry. BB 

[JessieB]

Hi Everyone,

I'll start tonight off with this point:

I don’t know how my parents will react?

I found speaking to my parents hard. And I still do today.

Being scared about how your parents will react is so very normal! The amount of pressure that we put on ourselves to be good kids and to not disappoint our mums and dads is extreme.

If speaking with your family seems out of the question, ask yourself, “Am I doing what is right for me?”, because that’s the main thing you need to concern yourself with.

It’s so easy to stress about the unknown. It’s easy to get caught up in what you think might happen or what you think they are going to say or react.

Parents usually want the best for their kids. They want to be there for us when we fall. And they are probably more worried about us than we can ever imagine.

On a couple of occasions, I asked my dad to be a part of some sessions with my psychiatrist and me. It was very confronting for the both of us. I was nervous for him to have access to my deep and dark thoughts and he was nervous because he didn’t actually know what he was in for. Having the psychiatrist there helped explain things to my dad that I couldn’t quite explain myself. This allowed my dad to have a better understanding of what was going on, and then was able to help me in a more constructive way. My father and I have always had a pretty good relationship and I think having him involved in these sessions made our relationship stronger. 

Q: How do you feel speaking to your parents or loved ones about mental health?

[NikNik]

Absolutely @Snowie!

[NikNik]

Don't be sorry @BlueBay - taking care of yourself is the priority.

[The-red-centaur]

Hi everyone.


Q: How do you feel speaking to your parents or loved ones about mental health?
I really struggle talking to my dad about my mental health. I no longer have contact with my mum so that's one less thing to worry about.
I care about my dad and I know he cares about me but we never really have the opportunity to talk. After my last suicide attempt last month I promised I would be more open with my dad though.

[Snowie]

Hi @JessieB. My mother knows the bare minimum and that is the way it will stay. Last time in hospital she told me that she was not coping with me being in there. 

So I am not sure what she will say when I go in again this week or next.

My hubby knows quite a bot but I still find it very hard to talk to him, especially about my SH and SI thoughts. 

[NikNik]

Welcome @The-red-centaur

[HayleyC]

Hi @JessieB,

I've found it very easy to talk with my mother about mental health as we have both experienced depression. However, I find it a little harder to speak with her about my anxiety as it was something I didnt want anybody to know about, I had a strong conviction of just dealing with it on my own or thinking that I had 'control' over it. However, a few years ago my anxiety got really bad where I had to go to therapy to treat my GAD, so I spoke with her about this. After speaking to her, she was super supportive and just wanted me to get better because she could see how it was affecting me. 

Though I haven't spoken about my GAD at all with my father as he doesn't really understand mental health and I don't really see the point if the conversation would just be awkward and strained. To me, it's just enough that mum is supportive. 

[Gina-Bell]

Hi there everyone who's joined us  - so good to hear all of your perspectives and experiences. 

 @mindboggle18 so glad that you've joined us - you've picked up the "forum thing" perfectly so far. 

That's such a good point that you bring up about "going home" being wrongly interpreted as  "being well" by some people. As you know, mental health recovery can be a long journey. Going home from hospital can be a really challenging time, and its really important that you know where to go for support when you do get home. Before you discharge from hospital I'd encourage you to speak to a nurse, doctor or social worker about a support plan for home - have on it a few trusted people that you can contact for support. It's also a good idea to have an appointment set up with your doctor, or another professional support, in a couple of days. 

This conversation we will be focusing on talking to parents - is that what you mean by "folks?" Stay tuned. 

[Teej]

Hi all 

I’m in a similar situation to @Snowie although most of my kids are now in their twenties. I think this conversation goes both ways. How do we talk to our adult kids too. My parents want to know still. As I think was said for many parents their child is always their child no matter the age and they worry about them. 

I struggle to know what’s helpful to tell my parents and my kids.