Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

[NikNik]

So some of the risks we're hearing includes:

- being triggered

- Emotional exhaustion

- limited time to reflect and recouporate

- getting grumpy/irritable due to lack of sleep/lessened quality of sleep

- not being as effective a listener/advice giver

@Odette - I particulary think it's important to flag what yousaid about not being as effective listening / advice giver because you have highlighted the risk isn't just for us, but also for the person we're trying to support!

A couple I will add include:

• Burn out 
• Compassion fatigue 
• Secondary traumatic stress (or as @BlueBay said -feeling triggered) - re-experiencing the shared traumatic events, avoidance/numbing of reminders, and/or persistent arousal (e.g., anxiety) associated with the person.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm with @BlueBay {waves to BlueBay} - getting triggered is the biggest challenge for me.

[Smc]

Exhaustion. Isoaltion- particularly when you're supporting someone who is going through uncommon experiences. Breaching confidence.

[Former-Member]

@NikNik and boundary setting

[Shaz51]

Yes @Odette, @NikNik

sometimes I will write something and if i don`t get a reply back I start to feel i have said the wrong thing

[BlueBay]

@NikNik sometimes I think that I worry and think of that person I want to help so much that it takes up a lot of my time.  Not that I don't want to help, don't get me wrong, I always do.  But then I think about them all the time and wonder how they are; if they are okay, if they are alone. I wish I could do more.

But at the end of the day - we (I) need to look after ourselves first and foremost.  We can't help others if we are not okay.  I feel that would do more harm.  That's why sometimes I have a little break from the forum.

[NikNik]

You will often hear professionals and probably others in your life bang on about self care. I use to have the misconception that self-care was something I did when I felt myself going downhill – but what I’ve since learnt is that self-care is also a preventative and should be integrated into your life.

 I kind of imagine the different aspects of my life, each as a glass of water and I need to keep an eye on when water is getting low in one and top it up.

As someone who provides peer support, self-care is important to you too.

Does anyone want to share what benefits they have seen by integrating self-care into their lives?

How do you do it?

(& don't worry if you can't answer this just now, we will be looking at this in more depth soon!)

[BlueBay]

@Shaz51 @NikNik

I'm the same - if I don't get a reply back i think I have upset that person or said something wrong. It's that BPD - not wanting to hurt others; people pleaser

[Former-Member]

Yep @Shaz51 i feel the same way as that

[NikNik]

Well said @BlueBay !