Topic Tuesday - NOW OPEN - Is life not going the direction you thought? A discussion about the loss a carer experiences

[Tatsinda]

Somewhere between anger and depression? I think I read that people in carer roles can endlessly experience various stages of the grief process - it doesn't necessarily get resolved as life goes on with continuing challenges.

[Former-Member]

Hi Cherry it can be really helpful to see a chart to help us understand where we are at. Its also good to know what there is no strict way of going through grief - it's very individual. You may be at one stage and then flick back to another. People go in spirals and waves before they get to a point where the grief is not as intense...

[Viv]

It looks like a tape worm! 

My goodness those early stages took years in retrospect. The challenge of being one of two parents, compounds the process I think.

[CherryBomb]

Exactly @Former-Member  and @Tatsinda grief is messy, it's not a linear process where you move through each stage and suddenly come out on the other. It's normal to bounce around in different stages. I think being able to recognise what you're going through is part of grief, and normal can be reasurring. 

[Tatsinda]

It is hard for me to process much at the moment as I have young kids with me 24/7. I wish I could just retreat and hide away from it all for a while. I am looking into getting some care for my youngest so I do get some regular time to myself. But there again, that brings up sadness and resentment as ideally I would have liked to be able to manage parenting without the daycare. It just all sucks. I should add that we've all been unwell the las week so I am a bit low at the moment.

[Former-Member]

Hi Tatsinda - I think that is true. Grief around mental illness is non-finite as the situation is often constantly changing. It can be very stessful to live without a resolution.

[CherryBomb]

We've got another 5 minutes before the discussion ends. Any final thoughts? 

[Viv]

It is a hard place to live with being unable to help those we love get better. We all hurt and feel sad. We can find strength from each other and in the knowledge that other understand. If you reach out, someone will take your hand...

[Former-Member]

Hang in there Tatsinda - being sick sucks and makes everthing seem so much worse! I hope that you can find some time to do something relaxing and fun for yourself : )

[CherryBomb]

That brings our conversation to end. Thanks so much to everyone who participated in tonight's discussion. A special thanks to @Former-Member for coming online tonight to share her thoughts.