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  • Author : espressologic
  • Support : 2
  • Topic : Friends, families and carers
09 Feb 2024 12:51 AM
Administrator
Administrator

Hello @Help4Hubby, welcome to the forum and thanks for bringing your story here.  The way you describe CPTSD almost makes it sound like you feel there's this third person in the relationship (the demon), and you're trying your best to navigate being a wife and partner alongside this unwelcome presence.  I can hear the strength, patience and dedication in your words alongside the emotional impact it's having on you.

 

It's a natural instinct to want to swoop in and 'fix' things when someone you love is distressed or in pain, but often as you've seen this can create more distance and leave us feeling helpless.

A few ideas for next steps:

 

* If you haven’t already, search ‘complex PTSD’ in the search bar at the top of the forum.  There are quite a few topics on this from members over the past few years, and while these members may not be active on the forum any longer, there’s some experiences there that might give you some pointers and make you feel less alone in this.


* Support for yourself: you’ve taken a great first step by posting here.  I’m not sure what other support you may be accessing right now, but your own wellbeing should not be ignored in this, not only because it’s important that you stay well but it will impact the support you can give to your husband.  I’d encourage you to think about calling the SANE Support Line 1800 187 263 if you’d like to talk in more detail about some support options.

 

* Changing your approach: the moments of calm may be the best time to have a conversation with your husband about how you can best support him when things get difficult.  Ask him what he needs during those times and perhaps agreeing on a plan might help to guide you in what to do.  The swooping in you’ve described may make him feel like there’s pressure for him to recover in a certain way or in a certain time frame.

 

Thank you again for posting here, it’s always a big first step to reach out to a group of strangers on a forum.  Please keep us updated on how things are going and any thoughts or further questions you may have.

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