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  • Author : Anon
  • support : 1
  • Topic : Our stories
2015-04-18T09:51:27+00:00
Anon
Casual Contributor

Hey @CherryBomb 

My dad went through a lot of counselling sessions, and tried many many different things about 10 years ago, but it wasn't because he wanted to. In his perspective he was forced to, but my mum said she didn't force him. To say the least, he isn't keen on seeking treatment. Although, he has been seeing a rehab councellor and seemed to be doing well with that. But I don't know if he's still going to that. As far as I'm aware, with this sort of thing regular therepy is needed. I don't wanna be like "Dad you need help" coz I know he won't respond well to that.

I'm very aware that you can't tell someone who isn't listening nor can you help someone who doesn't want help. 

I haven't really considered getting support for myself. I haven't really seen it as a necessary thing to do. I have a few very close friends, one of whom has been an incredible support. He's been through an awful lot and is incredibly wise and well thought out. 

 

In the last 24 hours, my brothers and I have gotten 2 massive texts. The first one he went through one by one, telling us where (in his mind) we went wrong, and where we've 'abandoned' him. The second one was him saying how my mum is to blame for everything and that its because of her this has all happened. 

The biggest thing we all struggle with is that he refuses to let go of the past. He will always talk to us about how hes been mistreated, how he's the victim. He'll say disgusting things about my mum and her family and its stuff that not only damages our relationships with them, it damages our relationship with dad too. 

So anyway, after texting back and forth today, I feel like we've finally gotten somewhere. I didn't react to the things he said I knew weren't true, and I didn't bother pulling him up when he condraditcted himself.  He said that all hes ever wanted to do was explain the differences (which he has done more than enough), and the only way he knows how to do that is through his life experience so that we could see what was happening to him, and in his view still is. He said he wanted us to see the manipulation he gets (also believes we get manipulated too). He went on to say "i guess we'll call this quits then. If you ever feel my experience in life can help you navagate yours, then feel free to ask". I've been trying to get this kind of response in 2 1/2 nearly 3 years. 

 

Thank you for your help CB. And thank you for the links to other pages. I'll check out the more youthy ones, but in all honesty, I appreciate more experienced and mature advice. That being said, I'm a firm believer that you can learn something from everyone. 

 

Thanks again. 

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