Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Tazzie1]

My 13 year old son was bullied at school last year and has been on a downward spiral since. He now has depression and is so anxious that I cannot get him to school.

He is on medication (has been for 4weeks) and I have got his sleep back on track (by using melatonin) but he is barely eating or drinking. And he is continuing to tell me he just wants to be dead. 

I don’t even know what I want from this forum. I just want my happy go-lucky son back and am scared this will never happen. It’s so tiring and it’s affecting us as his parents and also his sister so much.

Is anyone else going through this and have any ideas how I can make things easier for him and us?

[scout1572]

hi. sorry to hear that.

I have zero authority on this subject but i was heavily bullied throughout my time at school and may offer a smaal amount of insight.

Firstly, school is a major percentage of a childs social life. Its where nearly all of thewir friends and social skills come from. With this in mind, if it becomes a toxic or unhappy environment, then more than just their academic career is being effected.

I longed for a social environment free of the pressures of the one causing me distress.

I am not sure what your time and financial constraints are... but a group outside and away from school area and people will be rejected at first (child has low self confidence for new environment) but will create a parallel social construct that can grow independant of school.

Because i was experiencing physical abuse at school, i started martial arts... it taught me about meditation, discipline and values outside of norms... and i grew in confidence physically and mentally. I also made friends while training.

Wont suit all situations but maybe there is something to bring some light to your childs world.

Let him know that what is happening now will be such a distant memory in the future he may not even remember it. Kids dont understand time like someone with 50 years under their belt.

He has a friend in me :0)

[hanami]

@scout1572 what a thoughful reply to @Tazzie1 . It's so nice of you to share your lived experience with them to offer support. 

I'm sorry you have both had to go through these experiences. Kids can be so so cruel, it's not fair. I remember I had braces at school in year 6 and got teased about it so much because no one else had them. I also remember a few other instances of getting picked on for different things. It's hard to believe at times little kids can come out with such hurtful words. 

I hope some suggestions from @scout1572 have helpd you @Tazzie1 

Sending hugs

Hanami

[scout1572]

hi @hanami 

thank you for your kind words. I am new here and am not sure how others will receive my interactions... but i have positive intent that i will only be 100 beneficial so i hope that helps my messages hit the right notes.

I was sorry to learn yesterday what SH and SI stand for... i get it and am not immune to either of those, it just makes my heart heavy that so many use these notions that is has an anacronym...

...but it is VERY healthy to discuss these things in a open way and thats why i am here.

Hope you are having a great day.. its hot here again but i have air con and no need to venture outside so its not so bad... if i could just get my cat to come inout of the heat :0) 

[hanami]

@scout1572 from what I've read from you, I feel that you will have such a valued and positive influence on the community here. It's definitely sad that so many here use the acronyms SI and SH.

Yesterday we had the craziest storm in my region. Cars were washed out to see and shops and homes were inundated with flood water. It kinda came from nowhere. So it was nice to wake up today to some sunshine and clear skies. My dogs are loving that a lot, just lazing on the back deck.

I have aircon too so won't be going far as the weather warms up today and over the weekend!

Hope you have a great day

Hanami

[scout1572]

hi @hanami 

thank you for your kind words.

The best medicine is the dose you get from healping others... so i hope i have a positive impact.

I  spend all day everyday alone and have done for close to a decade... and i refuse to do social media... so this is all new to me, but i see a mirror help up tp me when i read some of these posts and i feel i may be able to help. every bit counts.

I lived at bondi beach for 4 years and miss the ocean so much. Used to be in the water by 7 and body board (my vehicle of choice) till well after dark.

Sorry you got big storms... but i love to see nature in its extreme. The same weather every day is boring, so a storn can be very exciting. Havent been to the ocean in years.. i can smell it just thinking about it.

Hope you and the dogs have some good deck time today :0)

[Tazzie1]

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond @scout1572

I know there are so many out there who are going through and have been through what he is experiencing. It is very lonely however when he won’t talk to anyone about it. Even just saying he has a friend in you makes my heart smile. 

Hope you’re going ok. 

[scout1572]

hi @Tazzie1 

nice to hear from you. 

maybe talking about it isnt going to help short term. Is there an activity you can go do that he may like? find a climbing wall gym, go hire a jetski or canoe... maybe something that is both physiclcal and stimulating.

I do not know what excites a kid these days but i know it is not hard to distract someone... baby's like a set of keys... maybe your son just needs to find the right 'set of keys'.

I'm doing ok today and i hope things get better for your little warrior.

:0)