Parental Alienation

[ANE2022]

Hi,

I've recently learned about parental alienation through researching why my daughter's completely shut me off after having a loving relationship for almost 2 decades.

She has always had a very special bond with my wife (who has traits of BPD/Narcissism but not diagnosed) to which I've encouraged this bond, but for the past 18 months favoritism has crept in & since my wife and I haven't been getting along in the past 12 months, my daughters interaction with me changes depending on how my wife is with me. As for now my daughter has completely discarded & rejected me.

Up until this point, my daughter and I never had issues in fact very seldom did I have to reprimand her for bad behavior. She's always been a delight but the past 6 months her approach towards me has completely changed & seemingly from my end for no reason at all.

I'm searching for ways to address this as I don't want this to be the end of our relationship.    

[Former-Member]

Afternoon @ANE2022 and welcome to the SANE forums 😊It's brilliant that you've made your way to the community and shared with us your story and struggle, I really commend you for your openness in that.

I'm not a parent, but I can certainly sense the pain you must be feeling in not being able to connect with your daughter. I'm wondering whether you feel safe to raise your feelings about what's transpiring with your wife? I know that sometimes relationships can be complex, and depending on the health of your relationship, this may or may not feel like a good option. I'm also wondering whether reaching out to Relationships Australia for support might also be another place to start navigating through this difficulty?

Again, I really see and admire the strength it takes for you to make steps towards repairing your relationships @ANE2022 and I hope that you and your family will find a way to move forward in a kind, loving and respectful way.

Rhye ☘️

[tyme]

Dear @ANE2022 ,

I hear how upsetting your situation feels. You are not alone. Please continue reaching out as I'm sure the SANE community can share their experiences with you.

Tagging some members @Shaz51 @Determined @Krishna .

Thinking of you and looking to hear from you.

tyme

[Jo-anneJoy]

Hey there @ANE2022 

When it comes to Parental Alienation, I highly recommend you connect with the work of

British psychotherapist Karen Woodall, who works specifically in this field and is a pioneer with

redefining what "parental alienation" is not; yet commonly assumed to be.  

An extract from a recent post Woodall made:

The group of families in which children are seen to reject a parent outright without discernible evidence of harm done by the parent who is rejected, are a particular group which contain very particular layers of behaviours, some of which are readily visible, many of which are stratified, hidden from view and in need of deeper levels of unfolding and understanding.[...]

Reconciling the Irreconcilable Reality of Alienation – Karen Woodall

[Krishna]

Hi @ANE2022   Am sorry to read of your situation with your daughter and apologies for the late contact as have been a little absent from the forum of late. My daughter has also estranged herself from my husband and myself going on 2 years. Initially started with only communicating with me and now neither of us. She has complex paranoid schizophrenia and we are completely in the dark as to why she has ceased communications. The only advice I can offer is to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and take good care of your own physical and mental well-being. I text and write to my girl on a regular basis and live in hope that one day she will reply. I’m sorry this is the only advice I can offer and understand and sympathise with you. It’s a hard situation to accept and the pain is real. Don’t give up.