Hi

[sparrowhawk]

Hi everyone. I am really glad to have found this forum.

I'm 30 and was diagnosed with anorexia in February. I've had disordered eating issues for two years. I'm getting treatment (GP, dietitian and psychologist), and have made huge life changes (moved back with my parents) but it's really hard. Part of me (the ED) doesn't want to recover or make changes, but I know I need to change if I want to stay alive.

Yesterday I found out I have osteoporosis and osteopenia and that was a bit of a shock. I didn't realise things were that bad.

[Former-Member]

hello @sparrowhawk 

Welcome to the forums! We are glad you are here 🙂

I always like to give people a quick tip when they join the forums - which is that you can type in @ in front of someone's name to "tag" them in a post, meaning they will get a notification that you are writing to them.

That sounds like a lot for anyone to go through - it sounds like you are really doing a lot to help yourself. It can be hard sometimes to reach out for help, in my experience, but it sounds like you are doing everything you can in your recovery.

I'm wondering if you have heard of Butterfly? Butterfly is an organisation which provides resources and conversations around eating disorders. 

Here are their details:

 - Phone number: 1800 334 673
 - Website: https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/

I hope this helps 🙂 And welcome once again to the forums. I hope you will enjoy your time here.

 - LittleSteps

[hanami]

TW: Eating disorders.

Hi @sparrowhawk 

Welcome to the forums. I'm so glad you found us too! I'm one of the peer workers here on the forums. It's daunting isn't it, the idea of recovery. I once had an eating disorder and get where you're coming from I was 30 with two kids and married when mine came to a head and I had to face it. Because like you,  found out I had osteopenia after getting stress fractures in my heels after a simple game of netball. Well I'm 52 now and I'm still able to run and exercise so that's good news for you! Anyway, reach out with any questions or support. 

Sending hugs

hanami

[Bow]

Hi @sparrowhawk  i want to briefly say hello, today is not a good day, but want to acknowledge your bravery in reaching out. Last year at 38yrs old I was diagnosed with atypical anorexia, the thought of recovery can be really difficult and I know that fight between the two. 
Hope that you feel welcome here 💕

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks so much @Former-Member! I really appreciate your helpful tips and kind words.

I am trying but often I feel like it's a losing battle with the ED. 

I have heard of Butterfly and have reached out to them a few times, they've been amazing!

[sparrowhawk]

Hi @hanami,

Thanks very much. Recovery is so daunting! But then I think - if I don't commit to recovering I won't have a life to keep living.

I think the bone density loss is a real wakeup call. My GP was very upfront with me that it's pretty serious. I've got a good treatment team but in some ways things have been a bit downplayed ("you have this issue/result but it's not really alarming"). Talking with my psychologist today, she said the next couple of weeks are crucial in terms of being admitted to hospital or not...but part of me still feels like things aren't really THAT bad.

[sparrowhawk]

@Bow, I really appreciate you reaching out especially on a difficult day. Thank you for that kindness and for sharing your own experience. I am sure atypical anorexia carries its own additional challenges. Thinking of you.

[Bow]

Thanks @sparrowhawk  and yes it does- took a lot for people to actually take me seriously.

im really glad that you have a good support team around you. It sure makes a huge difference. It took me a while to get the right supports, but I do now and I’m really grateful for everyone and on my team. 

the butterfly foundation has been great too. They really understand and get it. I often reach out when my head is a real mess and my ED is really loud. 

[hanami]

Hey there @sparrowhawk 

Yes recovery from an ED is daunting for sure. You need food to survive so when your relationship with it is so skewed it makes it so damn hard to move forward. My psychologist at the time suggested my ED was filling a hole in my life/soul. To move forward into recovery I would need to find something else to fill that hole. Don't know if that's helpful for you but it always stuck in my mind. 

You can definitely do this, no matter how many days you have where you think you can't. I never thought I would see the day where I could look at food differently to what I did back when I was younger but I most definitely do these days. It did not happen overnight, it has taken many years for me to learn a new relationship with food. But there are so so many supports out there. The Butterfly Foundation is amazing!

Sending hugs

hanami 💮