Broken Newbie

[CRodda]

Hi @Hummingbird4, after my brother's last episode in 2019 where I allowed him to stay at my place overnight (I have 3 children, now 15yo, 12yo & 9yo) and he became aggressive I decided he can no longer stay at my place, and if he's mid episode he's not allowed around my children (which I recently said, much to the upset of my elderly mother who he is staying with).  Now that I have set that boundary, I feel much better in myself.

Unfortunately for me, I'm getting nowhere discussing this with my Mum, she won't tell him that she needs a break.  But perhaps you can discuss this with your parents?  Gently let them know that you cannot be responsible for him when they're away?

We live regionally, and have been liaising with a community mental health service.  You might be able to ring your local hospital and find out how to access psych services.  We have access to short term accommodation, but unfortunately my brother doesn't want to go there voluntarily unless Mum actually tells him to.

I feel sad that your parents feel that they cannot go on holiday, but I also feel in my case that  my brother is not my responsibility.  We want to help, and we don't want them to hurt themselves or someone else, but I feel more and more that we, as family, need boundaries.