Lived Experience Forum

[Miss-wish]

I have noticed that everyone knows the well know types of abuse, but what are the other ones? and what is the meaning behind them? why are they classed as abusive?

Hi @tyme I hope this topic is ok, I just thought it could help everyone recognise abuse and the red flags that goes with it more easily. 

[RoseGeranium]

@Miss-wish The main types are physical, financial and psychological.  Read more about them through 1800 Respect here at the bottom of this page https://www.1800respect.org.au/violence-and-abuse

[Miss-wish]

Hi @RoseGeranium, 

Thanks for that link, but I wanted to start a conversation in a safe space. That way people can ask questions and get lived experience answers back. I know when I asked for help years ago, it felt like it was scripted a lot of the time. and like everything you only get answers for the questions you ask, and well sometimes you just don't know what questions to ask until others have asked them. 

I didn't know I had been coercive controlled until a few years ago, back then I was told my then partner could do what he wanted to me as it was his right to, just to give him what he wanted. 

I want to open the topic up, as it's not openly talked about enough. I want men and women (yes men too) to understand what could be happening to them and how to keep safe. It took me years to get up the courage to leave, and it has taken me years to finally believe I can do it on my own as he told me I never could or be happy or find someone else to love me. 

There are also other kinds of abuse

From a stranger 

workplace abuse/ harassment

Abuse of power from boss, a doctor, a teacher, police and so on. 

[Dimity]

It sounds as though you're thinking more of abusive relationships and domestic violence scenarios @Miss-wish @RoseGeranium .

But childhood abuse and neglect have been linked to later mood disorders and psychotic disorders,  and chronic pain is often associated with past trauma. I'm not sure whether you're asking for specifics of abuse - that would be a bit  close to the bone for me.

[Miss-wish]

HI @Dimity, 

I didn't know about the link between childhood trauma and chronic pain,  I will have to ask my doctor about it when I see her next, thank you.

I am asking a general question to open up the conversation, I grow up in an abusive family and the abuse cycle followed me. It was so normalised and as I grow up I learned more and I got stronger with that knowledge and was able to sometimes protect myself, put strategies in place if I thought someone had ill intentions. 

Sometimes it feels like my life was a big magnet for abuse and I received it in all aspects of  it, from family, work, school, doctors, therapists, friends and so on.

I was hoping everyone would give their experience or explain what kind of abuse they have seen? what were the red flags? 

yelling isn't abuse in itself, but yelling threats or yelling cm from someone's face is. Hitting a wall next to someone is intimidation/ a threat. 

There is a case in Tas court system at the moment where a guy stated that he had the right to SA his partner and he claims it wasn't SA 

I was bullied at work, for working what they decided was a males job. I was hurt at work because they refused to help me, on something that was deemed a 2 person job. 

This topic is buried a lot  of the time, and we are still made to feel ashamed if it happens to us, and if a male admits that they were abused, a lot of the time they aren't believed and made fun of. we are still living in an age where most abuse, no mater the kind isn't reported. 

I'm sorry if this comes across as a rant  

[DogMan79]

Interesting topic

Emotional Abuse is interesting. Did you know that "The silent treatment" is recognised by the World Health Organisation and others as a form of Emotional abuse?

[DogMan79]

Emotional Incest

In a single parent home. Emotional Incest is where the child takes on the emotional roles or responsibilities of a spouse

[DogMan79]

Reverse Parenting

Where children are caregivers to parents

Often linked with developing OCD later

[DogMan79]

https://www.mdpi.com/2305-6304/11/11/907

The ACE Test (Adverse Childhood Experience) lists ten major factors. Scores of above four are associated with premature death. Which is multifaceted with chronic disease, addiction etc

(I score 8, not that it matters)